1
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:04,470
Ninasema heroin.

2
00:01:05,269 --> 00:01:07,210
Ninatumia heroini.

3
00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:13,190
Ninaidunga mwilini mwangu. Ninaikoroga ndani yangu
mwili kwa sababu nina uraibu wake.

4
00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:18,190
Mimi ni chukizo la kutembea.

5
00:01:52,490 --> 00:01:56,210
Kweli Cold Black Metal sio kuhusu
kucheza moja kwa moja, sio kuwa sehemu ya

6
00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:57,590
eneo la kijamii la ujinga.

7
00:01:57,790 --> 00:02:01,010
Unajua, ni karibu tu, unajua,
Shetani.

8
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:07,790
Mungu,

9
00:02:09,650 --> 00:02:10,810
inaungua vibaya sana.

10
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:38,590
kutawala mkristo mchafu
kanisa, unajua, kuliponda, wewe

11
00:02:38,590 --> 00:02:43,230
kujua, kuweka kiti chetu cha enzi juu
fuvu la Mungu, unajua, ni nyeusi

12
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,270
chuma chafu, jamani.

13
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,040
Ndio, niko tayari. Tutafanya hivyo.

14
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:54,580
Hii

15
00:03:54,580 --> 00:04:06,880
ni

16
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,040
Templeton. Una nywele zilizojisokota.

17
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,280
Whiskers ni curly.

18
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:11,360
Oh, wao ni ajabu.

19
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,520
Nilikuwa na moja nilipokuwa kama 14.

20
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:15,040
Wao ni furaha tu kuwa na.

21
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,860
Wao ni wazimu baridi. Nataka kupata nyingine
moja kwa sababu yeye ni aina ya upweke.

22
00:04:18,140 --> 00:04:20,899
Nimeishi hapa tangu miezi tisa.

23
00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:25,120
Nimekuwa na mpenzi wangu kwa kama
miezi tisa, kwa hivyo nimeishi hapa tangu wakati huo

24
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,160
Kweli, huyo sio mpenzi wangu.

25
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:31,780
Huyo ni Chris, lakini ni kama kaka yangu.
Ndio, amekuwa akikaa nami tangu yangu

26
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,920
mpenzi amekwenda. Anapaswa kuwa
kuniepusha na matatizo.

27
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:36,060
Kweli, napenda kupata shida.

28
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,440
Naam, mimi tu, mimi huchanganyikiwa sana. A
mengi.

29
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:39,910
Kama, kila siku.

30
00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:44,750
Mpenzi wangu alikwenda baharini, na mimi
alipata tabia mbaya sana alipokuwa

31
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:49,290
wamekwenda. Tulikutana, na inaonekana mimi ni kama,
kila kitu ambacho amewahi kutaka.

32
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:52,470
Ndio, yuko kwenye Jeshi la Wanamaji, na anakuja
nyumbani kesho.

33
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:55,130
Nilitumia, kama ...

34
00:04:55,940 --> 00:05:00,740
$1,200 katika kipindi cha siku tano cha maisha yake
pesa ziliondoa akaunti ya uwongo

35
00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:02,280
kabisa. Madawa ya kulevya.

36
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:07,240
Yote hayo. Yote juu ya madawa ya kulevya. Hapana
mboga, hakuna chakula. Naam, nilinunua

37
00:05:07,620 --> 00:05:09,000
Mara nyingi crack na heroin.

38
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:14,640
Na nilikuwa nikijaribu kutopiga risasi tena
kwa sababu karibu kufa. Nimepata

39
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,460
shit nzuri kweli. Kiasi gani
kilichotokea alikuwa rafiki yangu, yeye

40
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,760
dope nzuri sana kwa hivyo ananikabidhi
wengine na kwa kweli niliwaita watu hawa

41
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:27,140
walikuja na nikawapa i
ilikuwa imesalia kidogo haikutosha

42
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:32,360
hits mbili lakini ilikuwa kidogo sana
kwa moja na nilikuwa kama oh fuck ni mimi

43
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,620
nitafanya hivyo na karibu nife
ilikuwa ni nguvu kweli kweli

44
00:05:36,620 --> 00:05:40,160
kwamba hiyo ilikuwa nzuri haikuwa nzuri
shit walikuwa wanajaribu kuniamsha

45
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,980
kunipiga na kila aina ya vitu na
nilipoamka asubuhi iliyofuata ilianza

46
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:45,320
kama kulia na kupiga kelele

47
00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:48,830
Naam, kwa sababu aliondoka.

48
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:50,990
Namaanisha, wamerudi.

49
00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:52,610
Wamerudi.

50
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:58,050
Sawa, nitaondoa baadhi
meza hii juu.

51
00:05:58,430 --> 00:05:59,830
Mimi pia ni mtumwa jamani.

52
00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:01,370
Hapo hapo.

53
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:04,390
Nimekuwa nikifanya shit hii kwa nne
miaka, mtu.

54
00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:06,110
Unataka kwenda kwanza?

55
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:07,330
Sawa.

56
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,520
Unaweza kuniita Brad. sitoi a
shit.

57
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,540
Ndio, jina langu ni Doom, watu.

58
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:22,660
Huo ndio uchawi, sawa?

59
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,750
Natamani ungehisi kile ninachohisi
sasa hivi.

60
00:07:05,870 --> 00:07:07,950
Ni hisia kubwa zaidi ulimwenguni,
mtu.

61
00:07:08,190 --> 00:07:12,870
Maneno hayawezi kuielezea. Ni bora kuliko
ngono. Ninamaanisha, hii ndiyo karibu zaidi

62
00:07:12,870 --> 00:07:13,910
mbinguni nitawahi kujua.

63
00:07:14,270 --> 00:07:15,670
Mungu, napenda hisia hii.

64
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:19,730
Ni furaha bora zaidi ya kuwa
alikuwa. Ndio, bila shaka.

65
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:22,230
Asante. Unapendeza sana.

66
00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:24,730
Je! unajua nini cha kuhisi hadi lini?

67
00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:27,130
Fuck.

68
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:32,590
Nipe pesa nimpigie.

69
00:07:35,770 --> 00:07:39,830
Ee Mungu, pamba ilienda wapi?

70
00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:45,470
Nitafanya mengine zaidi na pengine kuitikia kwa kichwa a
kidogo. Atakuwa ndani na nje.

71
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:49,170
Yeye ni sexy kama kuzimu.

72
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:53,010
Mimi naenda kukuambia nini. Natamani ningekuwa
bado na Wendy jamani. Ungekuwa nayo

73
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:55,870
aliturekodia video. Ningeweza kumwambia sisi
alitaka kutomba sasa hivi juu ya paa

74
00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:58,230
ya meza hii. Yeye d wamekuwa wote kuhusu
ni. Na mchumba wangu wa zamani.

75
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,430
Alitupwa gerezani tukiwa
mchumba, mwanaume.

76
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,870
Yeah, yeye ni fucking gorgeous.

77
00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:04,290
Kila aina ya hardcore.

78
00:08:04,670 --> 00:08:08,070
Fucking alichukua punda wake kwa chakula cha jioni. Yeye ni
kama, nishinde tu punda. Funika mimi

79
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:10,950
punda na kunisonga. Nipige ngumi
nyuma ya kichwa. Yuko gerezani.

80
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:15,450
Bado nina wazimu katika kumpenda. Hiyo
mwanamke angenifanyia chochote. Mambo vipi

81
00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:16,450
kukoromea uchafu huu?

82
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,210
Ni vizuri kukoroma? Oh, yeye ni dhahiri
wenye uwezo.

83
00:08:19,550 --> 00:08:21,870
Nitakuambia nini, mara tu atakapopata
nje, nitamuoa mwanamke huyo.

84
00:08:22,550 --> 00:08:23,690
Nitapendana naye.

85
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:27,230
Nzuri.

86
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,119
Unataka usafiri?

87
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,240
Nimeanza tu.

88
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,140
Nilianza kofia ya heroin.

89
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,820
Unataka bia ya aina gani?

90
00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:40,559
Hapa kuna pakiti 24.

91
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,640
Huu ndio wimbo niliosoma kuhusu Angie wakati
alikufa.

92
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,380
Kwa hiyo?

93
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,940
Nilikupenda kwenye punda na uliipenda.

94
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,020
Hiyo ni kweli, nilikuzuia.

95
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,620
Na uliipenda.

96
00:09:48,599 --> 00:09:54,920
Nilimpata. Aliachwa.

97
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:58,900
Kidogo kidogo, kidogo kilichofichwa. Na mimi
kumleta nyumbani. Lakini yeye hatembei

98
00:09:58,900 --> 00:09:59,799
leash tena.

99
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,880
Ukweli kwamba mimi hutumia dawa kila siku
msingi.

100
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:08,370
Nataka kufanya madawa ya kulevya. Mpenzi wake amruhusu
achana na mambo mengi.

101
00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:10,970
Shiti nyingi. Ananiruhusu niondoke
kila kitu.

102
00:10:11,490 --> 00:10:13,550
Na yeye hafanyi jambo la mungu.

103
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:15,870
Yeye ni mtu mzuri, lakini yuko katika Jeshi la Wanamaji.

104
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,690
Ndio, anatoka Afrika Kusini.

105
00:10:17,970 --> 00:10:22,830
This man is a fucking savior, dude. Angeweza
nipigie na ningekuwa kama, mimi ni mgonjwa. Na

106
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:26,040
he'd be here in like a half hour. na
kitu, ikiwa unataka. Je, hiyo ni

107
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,040
ukweli, rafiki?

108
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:30,260
Ndiyo. Oxycontin ni dawa
heroini.

109
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,360
Oh, yeah, nina dhahabu yake, kama
utafanya.

110
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,300
Mama yangu ameamuru.

111
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,060
Muulize tu mama yangu na umwambie mimi ni dope
mgonjwa.

112
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,420
Na mama yangu ana ugonjwa wa Legionnaire.

113
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:45,680
Piga risasi moja zaidi. Weka risasi, mtu.

114
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:46,900
Tafadhali ukubali.

115
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,120
Je, una UKIMWI wa aina yoyote?

116
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,360
Hapana.

117
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:52,300
Sisi sote ni maharagwe, jamani.

118
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,020
Heroini.

119
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,020
Yote ni heroin. Nina uwezekano mkubwa wa kuwa
shoga.

120
00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,860
Sawa, kwa hivyo nitakufuata. Ndiyo.

121
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,020
Sizungumzi na mtu yeyote katika familia yangu.

122
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,100
Loo, hapana, ndugu, niamini.

123
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:10,060
Mama amekuwa akiniambia ananichukia
tangu nikiwa na miaka 12 kwa sababu namkumbusha

124
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:13,020
baba. Baba yangu alijiua wakati mimi
ilikuwa mbili. Sikuwahi kumjua baba yangu halisi.

125
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,520
Akaweka bunduki mdomoni. I bet wewe
Mimi labda sio kumi.

126
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,200
Mimi ndiye mtu wa dope.

127
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,840
Ninaweza kupata chochote ninachotaka.

128
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,360
Ikiwa iko hapa, naweza kuipata.

129
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:49,720
Nimekuwa karibu kwa muda mrefu na niko
iliyosafirishwa vizuri.

130
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:54,960
Njoo.

131
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:11,999
Njoo, mtoto.

132
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000
Njoo, keti.

133
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,680
Usiniangukie jamani.

134
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,880
Huh?

135
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,680
Je, si kuanguka kutomba nje.

136
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,300
Je, bado uko hapa?

137
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:38,760
Sawa, kaa.

138
00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:49,050
Mshike juu. Uko sawa, kaka?

139
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,030
Muweke mbali.

140
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,390
Sawa. Brian, mwangalie.

141
00:12:56,050 --> 00:12:57,050
Nijulishe uko sawa.

142
00:12:58,610 --> 00:12:59,710
Yuko sawa jamani.

143
00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:01,530
Amechanganyikiwa tu kweli.

144
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,570
Hii ni dawa ya kuchagua wakati wote.

145
00:13:14,530 --> 00:13:16,110
Oxycontin. Naipenda kuliko heroini.

146
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,520
miligramu 40 za raha zisizo za Mungu.

147
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:25,060
Ni msingi wa dawa. Wanatoa
kwa wagonjwa wa saratani na watu kama wangu

148
00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:26,060
mama.

149
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:27,740
Ndiyo.

150
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:38,560
Baada ya kila mtu kuondoka, nilienda kulala,
alifanya makosa dumbass kufanya, na a

151
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:43,380
kofia ya dope na knocked kutomba nje
na nikachukua pochi yangu na pesa zote

152
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:44,760
kwa ajili ya mradi huu pretty much kuibiwa.

153
00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:49,270
Unajua, inaweza kuwa niggas
juu au, unajua, inaweza kuwa

154
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,070
amekuwa Raven, unajua, mambo yake mabaya.

155
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:55,770
Hiyo, unajua, ikiwa nilitaka kuitumia
kurekebisha meno yangu, na juu ya hayo,

156
00:13:55,870 --> 00:13:57,130
dope yangu pia iliibiwa.

157
00:13:57,510 --> 00:13:59,550
Kwa hivyo, hiyo ilikuwa mbaya sana.

158
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:06,610
Nilikuwa na rafiki huyu tu anayeitwa Eric.
Unamkumbuka Ferret? Alikuwa akiishi ndani

159
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,140
Ndio, mimi na yeye tulikuwa tunauza kokeini.

160
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:10,880
Nilikuwa nachumbiana na msichana anayeitwa Cookie.

161
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,680
Bado sikuwa na miaka 21 na nilihitaji kupata
bia. Tulitoka hadi Ocean View kwa

162
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,060
huyu bibi aninunulie bia.

163
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:21,080
Mara tu nilipokutana naye, nilikuwa kama,
shit takatifu. Yeye kwa namna fulani got kushikilia yangu

164
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,300
nambari. Basi akaja na kunichukua.
Yeye ni kama, vizuri, twende tukachukue shiti

165
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,520
na kupata juu. Kwa hivyo anamwita mtu huyu,
unajua, tumeketi katika maegesho haya

166
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,260
mengi. Hapa ninafikiria, unajua, tuko
kusubiri magugu au kitu, unajua,

167
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,000
kwa sababu wakati huo sikucheza naye
chochote.

168
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,720
Mimi hufanya coke kila mara.

169
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,000
Kwa kweli, ilikuwa heroin.

170
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:42,100
Alinitambulisha, na ni sawa
imeshuka tangu wakati huo, jamani.

171
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,900
Guy alikuja kwenye gari na kumpa hii
mfuko uliojaa haya madogo, kama,

172
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,640
Mimi ni kama, nini kutomba ni kwamba, wewe
kujua?

173
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:52,180
Alikuwa kama, kijana, hilo ni neno lingine
kwa heroin hapa. Wanaita

174
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,360
Wanaita cocaine msichana.

175
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:55,699
Mkewe.

176
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:59,380
sijui. Kweli sijui. Ni
baadhi nigger fucking jina kwamba mimi si

177
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:01,660
kujua. Kumbuka huyo Rastafari
mama mzazi?

178
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,320
Lo, nilikoroma.

179
00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:05,870
Huko nilienda kwa wanandoa wa kwanza
miezi.

180
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,390
Mimi na yeye tulikuwa tunaishi ndani na nje
hoteli.

181
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:13,350
Alipiga risasi kila wakati, na hakutaka
mimi kufanya hivyo wakati wote. Kwa hivyo alipoenda

182
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:17,130
kitandani, nilimchukua tu. Nimemwona
fanya mara za kutosha, kwa hivyo nilijaribu kupiga risasi

183
00:15:17,130 --> 00:15:18,530
mwenyewe juu, na nilikosa.

184
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:22,410
Aliamka, na alikuwa kama wewe
dumbass, ikiwa unataka kuifanya vizuri,

185
00:15:22,410 --> 00:15:26,170
jinsi unavyofanya. Hivyo basi alinipiga risasi. I
nilianza kupiga risasi, na nimekuwa

186
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:29,810
kupiga risasi hivyo. Kawaida mimi hupiga risasi
hapa, lakini una jumba la sinema

187
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:30,810
pale chini.

188
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:33,730
Hiyo ni juu ya kutomba.

189
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:38,170
Pombe, hapa hapa. Baba yangu alikuwa
kileo. Baba ya mama alikuwa mlevi.

190
00:15:38,450 --> 00:15:39,930
Ndugu yangu ni mlevi wa bia.

191
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:43,850
Yeye ni kaka yangu mbaya. Mimi kupata fucking
mwenye vita. Mimi fucking kupita nje. Hiyo ni

192
00:15:43,850 --> 00:15:44,850
mama huyu.

193
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:48,410
Whack! Uso wake wa kutisha. Mimi kutomba kwamba. Yangu
punda fucking wakati wote.

194
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:52,010
Whack! Baba yangu ni daktari wa wanyama wa Vietnam. Yeye whoops
mimi. Punda wangu mbaya.

195
00:15:52,230 --> 00:15:53,810
Mm-hmm. Fucker haraka.

196
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,990
Whack. Akanishika kwa nywele zangu, akanifukuza
chini ya barabara za ukumbi. Nilikuambia

197
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,990
ondoa wimbo mbaya.

198
00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,790
Whack. Utumbo wangu mbaya. Shit hiyo
kutania.

199
00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,850
Ndio, nilikuwa naenda kumuoa. Alikuwa
yule.

200
00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:03,730
Sijui alimilikiwa na nani
kutania.

201
00:16:04,410 --> 00:16:08,510
kuwa dhaifu sana kuchukua maisha yake mtu
kuna wakati nilitaka kufa

202
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:13,350
na nimejaribu mwenyewe damn nilijaribu
odn na sikuweza hata kufanya hivyo sawa

203
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:17,330
siwezi hata kujiua sawa nililala
kwa kama siku mbili moja kwa moja nadhani niliamka

204
00:16:17,330 --> 00:16:21,350
up pissed juu yangu mwenyewe mambo
mama jamani namaanisha

205
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:26,710
jamani jamani napenda kuifanya lakini naichukia
kama vile ninapenda kuifanya kama mimi

206
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:28,330
wakati mwingine nadhani sitaacha kamwe

207
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,660
Alikuwa amempoteza mtoto wake tu. Alikuwa na
msichana mdogo. Alikuwa amepoteza ulinzi wa

208
00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:49,240
Ilimuua kwa sababu alipenda hivyo
msichana mdogo na kila kitu ndani yake. Yeye

209
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,800
kuolewa kabla ya jamaa fulani? Ndio, hii
mtu wa cocaine. Nilipiga shit

210
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:58,340
yake katika maegesho ya kanisa siku moja.
Ilikuwa Pasaka, na baba yake alifanya a

211
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:01,280
dumbass makosa na akatoa maoni kuhusu
Angie.

212
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:05,260
Nilipiga shiti mbaya kutoka kwake
mbele ya binti yake, ambayo bado

213
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:09,260
mbaya kwa. Katika kura ya maegesho ya kanisa? Ndiyo.
Fucking alikuwa akimpiga teke la uso, wewe

214
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,560
kujua, kama uso ulikuwa juu ya ardhi.

215
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:14,579
kuchukua tofali na bash fucking yako
kichwa ndani aliendelea kuniambia nimzuie

216
00:17:14,579 --> 00:17:18,339
hakutaka kumuona baba yake akipata punda
piga lakini ndicho kilichotokea yeye tu

217
00:17:18,339 --> 00:17:21,400
alikuwa analia sitasahau vilio hivyo
mwanaume bado namsikia wakati mwingine

218
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:26,280
kupiga kelele acha kumuumiza baba yangu acha
kumuumiza baba yangu lakini unajua lakini wewe

219
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:31,940
sikuweza kuacha mara moja niko katika hasira hiyo
jamani unajua nitaua

220
00:17:31,940 --> 00:17:37,460
hello mama unafanya nini nitakuwa
hapo baada ya muda kidogo kwaheri

221
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,230
Ooh, hujambo, mtoto.

222
00:17:41,070 --> 00:17:42,070
Kubarizi.

223
00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:43,730
Ndiyo. Ndiyo.

224
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,870
Ndiyo. Siwezi kusubiri hadi urudi.

225
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:50,510
nakupenda. Unajua nakupenda. Umewahi
umekuwa ukinisukuma tu.

226
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,090
Inanitia wazimu sana.

227
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:54,410
Sawa, mtoto. Kwaheri.

228
00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:58,410
Sawa. Ooh, mimi ndiye mtu katika
uhusiano.

229
00:17:58,750 --> 00:17:59,750
Hakuna ujinga.

230
00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,250
Mimi nina udhibiti.

231
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:03,690
Habari, mtoto.

232
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,520
Inaweza kuwa.

233
00:18:25,580 --> 00:18:26,880
Mimi na mimi tu.

234
00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,220
Risasi juu.

235
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:35,260
Siku nyingine ilikuwa ya kuchekesha
kwa sababu mtu fulani alinikata koo, kwa hivyo ...

236
00:18:35,260 --> 00:18:41,640
Wanakunywa tu, unajua, wakiwa
mlevi, na kuna kisu dhidi yangu

237
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:42,640
koo.

238
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,200
Ee Mungu wangu, inajalisha kweli?

239
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:49,340
Sijui, nilikutana naye usiku huo tu,
kweli. Yeye ni mtu mzuri, ingawa.

240
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,260
Unajua, mimi ni mtu mzuri anayechosha. Yote I
kufanya ni kuangalia kwenye kioo cheusi na kusoma

241
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:55,260
vitabu.

242
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,600
Tu giza wote.

243
00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:01,120
Hiyo ni juu yake. Uovu usio na sura.

244
00:19:03,580 --> 00:19:05,140
Ghadhabu ya Shetani.

245
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:12,320
Makosa yoyote ambayo unaweza kufanya dhidi yake
ubinadamu, iwe ubakaji, mauaji, risasi

246
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:17,420
chochote kinachoweza kuharibu jamii ya wanadamu,
kuileta zaidi kuelekea kwake

247
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:18,420
maangamizi.

248
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:23,510
Metali nyeusi sio kitu kama, I
sijui.

249
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,330
Ninaitazama kwa njia tofauti kabisa.

250
00:19:26,610 --> 00:19:30,270
Kama vile nilivyokuwa maniac juu yake kama
wengine wote ni.

251
00:19:31,090 --> 00:19:35,010
Kama, unajua, lakini nimetoa tu yangu
mkusanyiko mzima.

252
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:36,490
Kwa nini?

253
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:39,130
Kwa sababu sitaki nyenzo
mali tena.

254
00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:43,510
Hiyo na siitaji ili kudhibitisha yangu
thamani. Ninajua kabisa mahali ninaposimama.

255
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:46,090
Hakuna mahali popote.

256
00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:54,130
Hakuna mahali popote. mimi si. mimi si.

257
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:55,810
mimi si. Nakupenda pia. Kwaheri.

258
00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:58,410
Habari. Habari.

259
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,370
Habari. Hakuna kitu. Hiyo ni juu yake. Tu
hakuna kitu.

260
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:04,230
Nadhani nitakufa hivi karibuni, mrembo
sana.

261
00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:05,510
Ndiyo.

262
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:08,490
Kuchoshwa. Kuchoshwa kabisa na maisha.

263
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:12,650
Kitu pekee ambacho kinaweka tabasamu
juu ya uso wangu ni kuweka sumu katika yangu

264
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:17,630
mishipa. Mimi itabidi pengine OD. Kitu hicho
huacha uso wangu vizuri ili nipate

265
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:18,770
mazishi ya kasha wazi.

266
00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,660
Kitu tofauti.

267
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,280
Kwenda mahali tofauti.

268
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,200
Namaanisha, hakuna kitu, hapana
sababu ya mimi kuwa na huzuni yoyote.

269
00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:28,580
Lakini mimi niko. Siku zote nimekuwa.

270
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,680
Mimi ni kawaida tu chini.

271
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:32,780
Ndio maana niliingia kwenye chuma cheusi.

272
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,580
Ndio, namaanisha, ilinipata.

273
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,300
Sikutoka kuitafuta. Ni tu
ilionekana.

274
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:39,000
Alitundikwa mtini Nazareti.

275
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:43,540
Kanda ya kwanza niliyopata ilikuwa Toll Corp North,
Kaskazini, Kaskazini.

276
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:45,900
Ni mojawapo ya albamu zinazougua zaidi kuwahi kutokea.

277
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,300
Ulifanya hivyo.

278
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,340
Sio kosa la mtu yeyote kuwa wewe ni
juu.

279
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:54,280
Ni kama watu wanasema hivyo, kama, oh, mimi
alikuwa na utoto mbaya na blah, blah,

280
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,300
blah. Na hii ndiyo sababu.

281
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,200
Unajua nini? Nilikuwa na fucking ya ajabu
utotoni.

282
00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,820
Je! Nilikuwa na utoto mzuri.

283
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,820
Furaha sana. Familia. Bla, blah, blah,
blah. Ujinga wote huo wa kufurahisha. Lakini wewe

284
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,400
nini? Bado nilijidhihirisha kuwa mnyonge
juu kama nilivyo sasa.

285
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,800
Sio kosa la mtu mwingine ila yangu mwenyewe.

286
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:10,340
Nilifanya mwenyewe.

287
00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:11,620
Unajua ninachosema?

288
00:21:11,740 --> 00:21:12,740
Unakubaliana na hilo?

289
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,840
Ndiyo. Lakini utoto wako ulikuwa sawa?

290
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:19,090
Ndiyo. Nadhani hiyo ni kawaida tu
hapo.

291
00:21:20,190 --> 00:21:21,350
Ingawa imekuwa.

292
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:25,270
Nadhani labda, sijui.

293
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:29,350
Nilitambulishwa kifo kwenye mrembo
umri mdogo, kama mtu wa kwanza.

294
00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:34,730
Baba yangu alijiua kama futi 10 mbali
kutoka kwangu.

295
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:39,350
Nilifanya nini? Hapana, baba yako alifanya nini?
Alijipiga risasi kichwani. Alikuwa na

296
00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:42,990
saratani na alikuwa na kama wiki moja tu
kuishi. Ilikuwa mateso mengi na

297
00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:46,410
Kwa hiyo nilimtazama akifa kwa takriban mwaka mmoja au
mbili.

298
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:50,060
Wakati akifanya hivyo, alionekana kama
hakuna chochote ila mifupa, kihalisi.

299
00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:54,520
Kitu pekee ambacho kilikuwa na aina yoyote
uzito ulikuwa uvimbe mkubwa wa punda ndani yake

300
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,020
Kama uvimbe na mikono na miguu.

301
00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:59,200
Yeye ni pretty fucked up.

302
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,740
Ikiwa una uchungu kiasi hicho, sina
unajua, unayo haki ya kuchukua yako

303
00:22:10,740 --> 00:22:11,740
maisha.

304
00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:13,080
Ni wazo zuri.

305
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,540
Naam, ninaishi. Wewe si kweli kuishi.

306
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:26,620
Nilizaliwa huko Virginia Beach General
Hospitali.

307
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:30,320
Kama, nilinyanyaswa nilipokuwa mdogo
msichana. Kwa hivyo sijawahi kukutana na kibaolojia yangu

308
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:31,880
baba. Sijui hata anaonekanaje
kama.

309
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:36,080
Na kisha alikutana na mtu huyu na kuolewa
yeye.

310
00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:41,180
Na alikuwa mzuri kwake, kwa kweli katika upendo
pamoja naye, lakini alinichukia.

311
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,000
Alikuchukia? Alinichukia.

312
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:47,620
Wakati pekee ambao mimi na yeye tuliwahi kutumia
pamoja ilikuwa, kama, wakati ningepata

313
00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:48,459
nje ya kuoga.

314
00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:50,220
Na nilipokuwa msichana mdogo, nilikuwa na kweli
nywele ndefu.

315
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,740
Nami ningetoka kuoga, na yeye
suka nywele zangu. Angepiga mswaki nywele zangu na

316
00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:54,539
suka nywele zangu.

317
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:56,080
Na huo ndio wakati pekee tuliowahi kutumia
pamoja.

318
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:57,820
Na aliniita mafuta.

319
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,460
Angeniambia mimi ni mbaya.

320
00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:01,080
Na alijua kuwa mimi ni mjinga.

321
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:07,340
Kama, nakumbuka nilipokuwa mdogo
msichana, kama, angeweza kucheza na mimi na kadhalika,

322
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:07,999
unajua?

323
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,040
Na usiku mmoja, alikuwa akicheza nami,
na mimi nilikuwa sakafuni, naye alikuwa juu

324
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,060
yangu, na alikuwa akinitekenya.

325
00:23:12,510 --> 00:23:14,510
Lakini sikumbuki lolote kati yake. Wewe
hukumbuki?

326
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:15,810
Sikumbuki hata kidogo.

327
00:23:16,670 --> 00:23:18,270
Kwa sababu sifanyi mazishi.

328
00:23:19,070 --> 00:23:22,730
Kama, mimi hushughulikia kifo kwa kukiepuka.

329
00:23:23,710 --> 00:23:25,150
Ndio, kwa sababu mimi ndiye mhusika.

330
00:23:26,290 --> 00:23:28,510
Mimi ndiye mchumba mkubwa kuliko wote
yao.

331
00:23:28,730 --> 00:23:30,530
Kati ya hao wote? Kati ya hao wote.

332
00:23:30,970 --> 00:23:34,390
Unajua, nilipata mimba nikiwa na miaka 15.

333
00:23:35,570 --> 00:23:38,690
Na kisha nikapata mimba tena nilipokuwa
17.

334
00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:41,470
Kweli, nilikutana naye nikiwa na miaka 11 hivi.

335
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,460
Nilipoteza ubikira wangu nilipokuwa na miaka 12.

336
00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:47,940
Kulikuwa na mtu huyu, na mara ya mwisho mimi
kuchunguzwa, alikuwa ni mkorofi.

337
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:56,420
Kweli, hivi karibuni sijaona
yao sana kwa sababu mimi niko juu wote

338
00:23:56,420 --> 00:23:59,060
wakati, na sitaki kuwa karibu yangu
watoto nikiwa juu.

339
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,060
Na mama yako yuko vizuri na utunzaji
wao?

340
00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:08,940
Ana ulinzi wao. Yeye ni mrembo
mengi yalichukua ulinzi wao kutoka kwangu.

341
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:15,980
Kwa kweli alimwambia mtu kwamba labda yeye
anaweza kufanya nao sawa, ambapo yeye

342
00:24:15,980 --> 00:24:16,980
hakuwa na mimi.

343
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,080
Una maoni gani kuhusu hilo?

344
00:24:20,620 --> 00:24:25,200
Nadhani kama watageuka
kutaka kudanganywa kama mimi, ni

345
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:29,300
itatokea, unajua? Baadhi ya watu
wamechoka kwa sababu ya mambo hayo

346
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:34,220
kutokea kwao, lakini kwa sehemu kubwa,
yote ni kwa hiari yao wenyewe.

347
00:24:35,740 --> 00:24:40,540
Ni kweli. Hata kama hawana
kuelewa kwa nini, kama ... Hey,

348
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,780
mtoto.

349
00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:48,060
Mtoto, shikilia sekunde, sawa?

350
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:51,680
Hujambo? Kwaheri.

351
00:24:52,580 --> 00:24:54,100
Habari, mtoto. Nimekupoteza.

352
00:24:55,140 --> 00:24:57,620
Cheza kwa ajili yangu, msichana. Cheza kwa ajili yangu.

353
00:24:58,140 --> 00:24:59,140
Kumbe!

354
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,060
Nisaidie kukabiliana na haya yote, jamani.

355
00:25:06,510 --> 00:25:07,510
Hilo lilinifanya niwe na wasiwasi.

356
00:25:07,790 --> 00:25:11,710
Fuata? Ilinifanya tu niwe na woga kama bitch.
Hapana, kwa sababu tulikuwa na askari aliyefuata

357
00:25:11,710 --> 00:25:12,409
sisi, mtu.

358
00:25:12,410 --> 00:25:16,730
Anatufuata njia yote hadi tuendapo
uliopita, vuta kwenye kura ya maegesho. Nimepata a

359
00:25:16,730 --> 00:25:18,010
kundi la dawa za kulevya juu yangu.

360
00:25:22,950 --> 00:25:28,870
Kata kipande, kama hapo hapo. Kuchoma moto
ni.

361
00:25:29,190 --> 00:25:31,310
Hayo tu ndiyo unayopaswa kufanya. Ichome moto mpaka
huoni dhahabu.

362
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,280
Ufa ni kujiondoa kiakili.

363
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,140
Ndio, ina madhara makubwa.

364
00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:56,980
Nilichukua kisu kutoka kwake ili kumuweka
kujiua, lakini nilianza

365
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:59,340
kumpiga punda wake. Kwa hiyo, nilipoteza nyumba yangu.

366
00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:02,900
Kweli, ana alama juu yake. Yeye tu
alikuambia kuwa anajaribu kujiua.

367
00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:06,780
Acha ajidanganye mwenyewe. Hapana, mimi
kuishia kupoteza, nimepoteza kila kitu mimi

368
00:26:06,780 --> 00:26:10,320
kuwa na. Nimeolewa mara moja tu na mimi
kuwa na watoto wawili naye. Nikiwa nimeondoka

369
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,980
akisubiri kesi mahakamani, aliuza
kila kitu ninacho.

370
00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:14,940
Kila kitu.

371
00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,900
Kwa hivyo, nimepoteza kila kitu.

372
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,160
katika miezi michache iliyopita. Na mimi nina
hakuna mwili.

373
00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:22,260
Namaanisha, kwa kweli sina mwili.

374
00:26:23,220 --> 00:26:24,900
Inua kiwiko chako juu ya punda wangu, jamani.

375
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,940
Achana nayo.

376
00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:34,240
Unajisikiaje?

377
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:38,560
Najisikia vizuri.

378
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,920
Ilikuwa nzuri.

379
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:41,800
Ilikuwa nzuri? Ndiyo.

380
00:26:42,460 --> 00:26:46,780
Tulimpiga sungura wa sungura na bunduki ya msumari.
Tulimtupa moja kwa moja kwenye grill.

381
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,840
Yeye fucked kwamba up. Nimecheka nini? Sisi
kutania.

382
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,820
Kwa sababu nilikuwa nikimpiga rafiki yako?
Kwa sababu bado tulichanganyikiwa nilipokuwa

383
00:26:57,820 --> 00:26:58,820
rafiki yako.

384
00:26:59,480 --> 00:26:59,900
Ndiyo,

385
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:06,560
I

386
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:11,520
niliwahi kuwa na uchafu huo kwenye punda wangu.

387
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:35,920
Umekufa.

388
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,840
Ni mmenyuko wa mzio. Ndiyo maana
wewe itch kutoka humo. Miguu yangu ilikuwa kweli

389
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,180
michubuko kutokana na kuikuna.

390
00:27:51,740 --> 00:27:53,120
Je, ulienda kuikuna muda wote?

391
00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,280
Hapana, nilikuwa nikikuna. Je, mara ngapi
unavuta ufa?

392
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,960
Karibu kila siku.

393
00:27:58,670 --> 00:28:04,550
Niliwahi kuwa mkorofi. Inafurahisha
fanya. Kitendo cha kuvuta ufa ni furaha. Kama

394
00:28:04,550 --> 00:28:06,330
utaona baadaye. Ninafurahia. Ndiyo.

395
00:28:06,590 --> 00:28:10,190
Kila mtu ana mbinu yake mwenyewe,
unajua, jinsi wanavyofanya. Napata kweli

396
00:28:10,190 --> 00:28:14,090
hyper na, kama, kutaka kuua
mtu ninapovuta hupasuka.

397
00:28:14,310 --> 00:28:18,850
I mean, nimefanya baadhi crack hiyo
ni vigumu kufanya chochote, na nimefanya baadhi

398
00:28:18,850 --> 00:28:20,250
ufa ambao umenifanya nitapike.

399
00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:29,070
Nami nilikuwa nimefungwa naye pia. Wakati
Nilikuwa TDAH, Tidewater Detention Home,

400
00:28:29,150 --> 00:28:32,570
Niliendelea kuropoka huku nikiendelea
majaribio. Niliendelea kufoka. Nilikuwa na kama

401
00:28:32,570 --> 00:28:36,850
ukiukaji. Nilipata coke ndani yangu
piss, na sikupata GED yangu, na mimi

402
00:28:36,850 --> 00:28:37,990
sikufanya hivi, na sikufanya vile.

403
00:28:38,969 --> 00:28:42,710
Hujambo? Fentanyl. Ikiwa milligram moja ya
fentanyl ni sawa na miligramu kumi za

404
00:28:43,030 --> 00:28:46,530
Xanax. Xanax angenifanya kuwa mbaya. Jamani
karibu kumuua mtoto. Nilimpa a

405
00:28:46,530 --> 00:28:50,290
mtikiso. Nilimvunja mbavu nne.
Mishono thelathini katika uso wake.

406
00:28:50,490 --> 00:28:53,950
Angekaribia kuzama, jamani, kwa sababu ya
Xanax. Nilijifunga fundo kwenye bakuli

407
00:28:53,950 --> 00:28:57,610
nafaka, mtu. Mama yangu alilazimika kunivuta
fucking nje. Nilikuwa na dreads za muda mrefu

408
00:28:57,610 --> 00:29:00,570
wakati. Sikumbuki shit. Punda-mkubwa
bakuli la nafaka, mtu. Nilijaribu

409
00:29:00,570 --> 00:29:02,370
kujiua kwa makusudi. Nilihisi
huzuni.

410
00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:06,130
Brad, ungependa kupata yoyote
dope zaidi usiku wa leo?

411
00:29:06,830 --> 00:29:08,930
Nilikuwa nauliza tu kama utaenda
kutaka kupata zaidi.

412
00:29:09,470 --> 00:29:14,170
Nilipoteza hamu ya kula Xanax. Wao
aliniambia kwamba nilipaswa kufa.

413
00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:18,670
Nilikuwa mweusi. Nilikuwa na vidonge vya pop.
Niliagizwa trileptal. Tegretol

414
00:29:18,670 --> 00:29:22,530
bipolar. Ilikuwa inanifanya niwe macho.
Unaona watu wanatembea kwenye ukuta.

415
00:29:22,690 --> 00:29:27,010
Nilikuwa nikiugua dope. Nilianza
kuangazia. Na utaapa ni

416
00:29:27,010 --> 00:29:30,450
maana, wanaonekana kama wapo. nimewahi
sijawahi kuona kitu kama hicho.

417
00:29:30,930 --> 00:29:34,790
Trileptal, Seroquel, na Trasdome. Uh
-ha. miligramu 50 za Trasdome.

418
00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:38,930
aliniagiza katika miaka ya 100 na akaniambia
kuchukua nyingi. Kwa sababu ulikuwa

419
00:29:38,930 --> 00:29:39,649
kupiga teke dope?

420
00:29:39,650 --> 00:29:43,890
Hapana. Alikuwa akinitisha katika ndoto mbaya
na mambo. Alikuwa na watu wanaonifuata.

421
00:29:44,090 --> 00:29:47,350
Angekaa nje ya dirisha langu wakati mimi
alikuwa amelala na kunitazama nimelala.

422
00:29:47,570 --> 00:29:48,930
Na sikupanda juu. Nilikuwa...

423
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,060
Na nilikuwa mgonjwa kabla ya kufanya hayo mawili
kofia ambazo nilifanya.

424
00:29:52,260 --> 00:29:54,360
Nitafanya kofia hizo zingine mbili
kwa sababu nataka kupanda juu.

425
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,360
Alikuja nyumbani kwangu usiku mmoja, akarudi
pamoja, walipanga kufunga ndoa.

426
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,160
Alisema alihitaji pesa ili kupata
mavazi. Akampa $500 na akaruka

427
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,380
pesa zangu. Alitumia pesa hizo hivyo yeye
inaweza kurudi West Virginia kuwa

428
00:30:04,380 --> 00:30:05,279
baba wa mtoto wake.

429
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:09,120
Je, unatambua kuwa ulinibaka mara ya mwisho
usiku? Ukiniacha, nitaenda

430
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:13,000
wewe. Nitakuua, kwa hiyo naenda
kukuua. Nilijua anaweza kuniumiza. I

431
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000
alikuwa anamuogopa.

432
00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:18,200
Una watoto wangapi, kaka? Nimepata mbili.

433
00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:21,640
Uh -huh. Mwanangu ana miaka minane na yangu
binti nne.

434
00:30:21,980 --> 00:30:22,980
Wako wapi?

435
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,160
Pamoja na mama yao.

436
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,660
Kwa kweli, sasa hivi, siwezi kuwaona.

437
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:35,360
Kweli, mama yangu, nilikuambia yuko
umechanganyikiwa kweli. Ndiyo. Lakini ana mwanangu

438
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,720
na sitamruhusu kumwona.

439
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,040
Unajua ninamaanisha nini? Wakasogea na
hakuniambia walihamia wapi.

440
00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:46,860
Hapana, mama yangu alienda mahakamani na kusema uwongo na
alichukua mwanangu kutoka kwangu.

441
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,640
Hapana, sikutaka awe na chochote
kufanya na mwanangu kwa sababu sikutaka

442
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,140
kumtongoza kama alivyonifanya mimi.

443
00:30:53,980 --> 00:30:55,220
Na sasa yeye ni anyway.

444
00:30:56,380 --> 00:31:00,760
Anaonekana kuwa na furaha, lakini sivyo
kulia. Unajua ninachosema? Hiyo ni

445
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:01,760
kijana wangu.

446
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:04,560
Namaanisha, anafanana na mimi. Namaanisha,
hasa.

447
00:31:29,439 --> 00:31:30,840
Bushman, Mark Dykeman.

448
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,980
Na mmekuwa pamoja kwa muda gani
kwa?

449
00:31:33,580 --> 00:31:36,980
Hebu tuone, mwaka na miezi minane.

450
00:31:37,340 --> 00:31:38,700
Na hufanyi dawa yoyote?

451
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,020
Hapana. Una maoni gani kuhusu dawa ya Raven
kutumia?

452
00:31:41,220 --> 00:31:42,220
siipendi.

453
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:45,500
Sipendi inavyomfanyia
kimwili na kihisia.

454
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,740
Na Raven ana watoto wawili. Anampenda
watoto zaidi ya maisha yenyewe.

455
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:55,280
Lakini mimi tu chuki ukweli kwamba kile yeye
hufanya na, unajua, jinsi inavyoathiri.

456
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,240
Uhusiano wake na watoto wake. Namaanisha,
tunapigania kila wakati. nawaambia

457
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:04,240
kwamba, unajua, anahitaji kuacha.
Kwa sababu tulipokutana mara ya kwanza, alikuwa

458
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,060
Alikuwa safi kwa wiki, na kisha sisi
tulikutana, tukaungana.

459
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:13,020
Na alikuwa, siku moja alianguka tu,
unajua, unajali nikivuta a

460
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:16,160
ufa? Na sikujua chochote kuhusu
madawa ya kulevya. Nilikuwa kama, oh, unajua, sawa,

461
00:32:16,220 --> 00:32:20,400
ndio. Sikujua hilo, unajua,
mwaka na chochote baadaye, sasa yuko

462
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,660
kufanya heroini na kadhalika, unajua.

463
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:23,720
Nilikuwa nikifanya kazi huko kwa muda.

464
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:26,180
Kujaribu kulipa talaka yangu.

465
00:32:27,460 --> 00:32:30,880
Na alikuja siku moja, na mimi ni kama,
wow.

466
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,020
Tulitumia takriban kila siku.

467
00:32:34,300 --> 00:32:36,520
Wakati mimi si nje ya kuona, sisi kutumia kila
siku pamoja.

468
00:32:36,740 --> 00:32:39,540
Alikuwa mgonjwa sana, na sipendi kumuona
mgonjwa.

469
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,160
Ninamwambia, sikununui dawa.
Situmii pesa zangu kununua dawa zako.

470
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:50,480
Nilimpeleka kwenye chumba cha dharura mara mbili,
na ilinigharimu $1,700 kila wakati.

471
00:32:50,940 --> 00:32:52,640
Kwa sababu nachukia kumuona, lakini hiyo
muda...

472
00:32:53,150 --> 00:32:55,530
Nilichukua tu gita langu na nikalipiga
zaidi kwa 40 bucks.

473
00:32:55,990 --> 00:32:57,590
Akampa pesa akaenda na kuchukua
vizuri.

474
00:32:58,010 --> 00:32:59,350
Siku iliyofuata, jambo lile lile.

475
00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:03,270
Tulipiga vitu vingi sana.

476
00:33:03,470 --> 00:33:06,870
Nina kicheza DVD changu na TV yangu. Sisi
akaiweka juu.

477
00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:08,069
Na ulifanya yote kwa Raven?

478
00:33:08,070 --> 00:33:11,490
Ndiyo. Huwezi amini mambo niliyo nayo
kufanyika kwa ajili yake. Shit mtakatifu.

479
00:33:15,610 --> 00:33:17,330
Ni kinyume na sheria ya ABC huko Virginia.

480
00:33:17,570 --> 00:33:20,770
Ninapata shida, lakini siwezi kujizuia
ninapoingia kwenye shit.

481
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,720
Kama, ningekuwa nikicheza, kama, ngumu
kama kichaa.

482
00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:07,510
Ni mengi zaidi. Ni vigumu sana
eleza, jamani. Ni zaidi ya a

483
00:34:07,510 --> 00:34:09,830
muziki. Zaidi ya mtindo wa maisha tu.

484
00:34:10,130 --> 00:34:11,989
Mimi kuishi na fucking kupumua chuma nyeusi.

485
00:34:12,409 --> 00:34:16,449
Ah, namaanisha, chuma nyeusi kwanza, mimi
maana, inapaswa kuwa juu ya Shetani. Ni wewe

486
00:34:16,449 --> 00:34:19,909
kujua, mizizi yake imejengwa juu ya Shetani.
Sauti za chuma nyeusi ndizo nene zaidi.

487
00:34:19,929 --> 00:34:22,949
Vilio vya sauti ya juu, unajua,
kupiga kelele, unajua, kutomba yote hayo

488
00:34:22,949 --> 00:34:26,969
ujinga. Bendi iitwayo Bathory ilianza
sauti ya juu kabisa, unajua,

489
00:34:26,989 --> 00:34:30,929
shrieking shit. Ndio, Bathory ndiye alikuwa
jamani, jamani. Mwimbaji wa Bathory, yeye

490
00:34:30,929 --> 00:34:32,949
miaka miwili iliyopita. Alikufa jamani.

491
00:34:33,170 --> 00:34:37,270
Bathory alikuwa kabla ya wakati wake.
Albamu zao tatu za kwanza zilikuwa mbichi kabisa,

492
00:34:37,429 --> 00:34:40,469
grim -punda, fucking, unajua, mzee
-chuma cheusi cha shule. Na kisha baada

493
00:34:40,550 --> 00:34:41,550
wao, uh...

494
00:34:41,630 --> 00:34:45,350
aliendelea na jambo hili zima la Viking unajua
ninachosema ambacho ni kizuri unajua

495
00:34:45,350 --> 00:34:49,370
kwa sababu unajua watu kutoka sweden
noway unajua wote ni kuhusu odin wewe

496
00:34:49,370 --> 00:34:53,290
Norse mythology na shit huna tu
kuwa mshetani au mtu yeyote yule

497
00:34:53,290 --> 00:34:56,530
ama fucking amezaliwa ndani yako au sivyo
hutajua ukiwa mtoto

498
00:34:56,530 --> 00:34:59,690
kama wewe ni mfuasi wa shetani na wewe ni
shetani au la unajua nasema tu

499
00:34:59,690 --> 00:35:03,470
ujue unazinduka tu siku moja
hiyo quote fanya utakalo

500
00:35:03,470 --> 00:35:06,890
kuwa sheria nzima kama hivyo
jinsi inavyopaswa kuwa usikatae yako

501
00:35:06,890 --> 00:35:11,510
utapeli wa kimsingi wa wanadamu wa zamani ingawa i
Amini katika nguvu iliyo juu zaidi. Kitu

502
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,370
ilibidi tuunde ujinga huu wote.

503
00:35:13,690 --> 00:35:17,610
Ningependa zaidi kuchoma moto kwa
milele kuliko kuwa huko juu kufanya

504
00:35:17,610 --> 00:35:19,190
-ups. Hivi ndivyo Shetani anavyofanya kazi.

505
00:35:19,550 --> 00:35:21,510
Hivi ndivyo hasa Shetani anavyofanya kazi.

506
00:35:22,090 --> 00:35:25,190
Shetani ana uwezo wa Kunguru, naye...
Huyu ni Shetani.

507
00:35:25,710 --> 00:35:29,770
Ndiyo, ni dawa ya Shetani. Ni
huchezea akili yako. Inageuka wewe

508
00:35:29,770 --> 00:35:31,770
Mungu. Shetani hayuko hapa kukuleta
yeye.

509
00:35:32,430 --> 00:35:35,730
Kazi ya Shetani ni kukufanya uamini tu
kwamba hakuna Mungu. Angeweza kujali kidogo

510
00:35:35,730 --> 00:35:37,990
ukimwamini, maadamu wewe
usimwamini Mungu.

511
00:35:38,490 --> 00:35:40,030
Brian na Raven, ni kazi ya Shetani.

512
00:35:40,310 --> 00:35:44,490
Huyo ni Shetani anafanya kazi. Shetani anatazama
katika kazi yake na Raven na Brian na

513
00:35:44,490 --> 00:35:48,730
akitabasamu kwangu. Tazama, ninafanya hivi
kwa sababu ninahisi ninajifurahisha. Kama ni

514
00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:53,130
anahisi vizuri, fanya. Imani yangu ni kwamba y
'Wote wanaishi ndoto tu, jamani. Hii

515
00:35:53,130 --> 00:35:55,070
si chochote ila ni ndoto. Unapokufa,
unaamka.

516
00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:57,130
Na sote tunaungana.

517
00:35:57,450 --> 00:36:02,050
Hii hapa, hii ni fujo, jamani.
Hii si kitu. Ni tu

518
00:36:02,050 --> 00:36:03,090
ndoto mbaya, dude.

519
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:05,130
Sisi sote tunaamka siku moja.

520
00:36:05,810 --> 00:36:06,810
Tutaamka.

521
00:36:09,259 --> 00:36:12,000
Natamani wazazi wangu, wazazi wangu wangekuwa huru
nilipolazwa kwa mara ya kwanza.

522
00:36:13,100 --> 00:36:14,100
Ndiyo,

523
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,320
funga hiyo.

524
00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:18,320
Fucking juu, mtu. Namchukia mama mjanja
katika sare.

525
00:36:18,660 --> 00:36:19,660
Uh -huh.

526
00:36:19,700 --> 00:36:20,700
Mwanadamu, wanasikitisha.

527
00:36:20,780 --> 00:36:21,820
Katika 89, njoo hapa.

528
00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:23,760
Jaribu kupata mbali na baba halisi.

529
00:36:25,340 --> 00:36:26,400
Kwa hivyo namtuma binamu yangu.

530
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,400
Wewe bora matumaini yeye kamwe kutembea nje
milango ya magereza.

531
00:36:30,260 --> 00:36:32,340
Miaka 11, 12 iliyopita amekuwa huko.

532
00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:33,940
Kwa ajili ya nini?

533
00:36:39,140 --> 00:36:40,140
Sawa,

534
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:42,360
tufanye hivyo kaka.

535
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,860
Hizi ni hatari za matumizi ya dawa.

536
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:54,600
Ndio, unataka kuona kitu halisi
umechanganyikiwa? Hii ni karaha jamani.

537
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,680
Hii ni shit ya kutisha. Mko tayari?

538
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:57,920
Ndio, jamani. Hii hapa inakuja.

539
00:37:04,140 --> 00:37:05,038
Pata hiyo.

540
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,260
Ningeweza kukata koo la mtoto mchanga na
huyo.

541
00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:14,840
Mara moja junkie, daima junkie. mimi niko
ushahidi wa hilo.

542
00:37:19,340 --> 00:37:22,140
Nina jipu kwenye kwapa.

543
00:37:24,220 --> 00:37:31,000
Hiyo ndiyo dawa inayonitoka

544
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000
mwili.

545
00:37:32,270 --> 00:37:37,030
Hapo ndipo inapotoka. Ni kwenda
fomu a, um, itaunda kama a

546
00:37:37,030 --> 00:37:38,390
kichwa na itapasuka.

547
00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:42,170
Unapokosa na haiingii
mshipa wako, ni tu, ni aina ya

548
00:37:42,170 --> 00:37:43,170
karibu kwenye ngozi yako.

549
00:37:43,510 --> 00:37:45,350
Inapaswa kutoka kwa namna fulani.

550
00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:47,890
Na vizuri, ndivyo inavyotoka. I

551
00:37:47,890 --> 00:37:55,510
kweli

552
00:37:55,510 --> 00:37:56,510
kufanya upendo ufa.

553
00:37:57,070 --> 00:37:58,350
Napenda crack sana.

554
00:37:58,990 --> 00:38:00,770
naunda...

555
00:38:01,180 --> 00:38:04,200
Dhamana maalum sana na ufa wangu wote
wafanyabiashara.

556
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:09,240
Kama dude yangu moja, BJ, yeye inaonekana nje kwa
mimi.

557
00:38:10,020 --> 00:38:12,520
Naye anahakikisha kwamba, unajua, hilo
niko sawa.

558
00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:20,180
Unaona, mama yangu alikuwa Bibi Tidewater Go -Go in
1979.

559
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,240
Alikuwa mchezaji wa kwenda-go.

560
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,460
Kwa kweli anaishi mtaani.
Lakini hachezi tena. Je, unazungumza

561
00:38:27,460 --> 00:38:28,460
kwake?

562
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,440
Yeye ni mama yangu.

563
00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:32,350
Namaanisha, yeye ni mjanja.

564
00:38:32,630 --> 00:38:39,350
Unajua nini? Nilipopiga teke, nilipata zaidi
sifa kutoka kwa wafanyabiashara wangu wa dawa za kulevya

565
00:38:39,350 --> 00:38:42,250
kuliko nilivyofanya kutoka kwa mama yangu mwenyewe.

566
00:38:43,150 --> 00:38:45,330
Yeye ni mbwembwe. Ni kama hii, sawa?

567
00:38:45,850 --> 00:38:50,190
Haijalishi nifanye nini, ningeweza kufanya
ni bora zaidi.

568
00:38:51,070 --> 00:38:54,190
Kwa kweli, sijui kibaolojia yangu
baba.

569
00:38:55,250 --> 00:38:57,670
Nilipokuwa msichana mdogo, aliniambia
hiyo...

570
00:38:58,700 --> 00:39:00,720
Baba yangu alikuwa chaza.

571
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,980
Ninaweza kuonyesha hii kwa marafiki zako wote wakati
unakua.

572
00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:28,120
Kama, wakati mmoja, loo, unataka kusikia
hadithi nzuri sana.

573
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,360
Nilipata dope.

574
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:35,580
Kila mtu aliyekuwa pale usiku huo, yeye
aliniacha kwa Brad. Kama, wao ni nzuri

575
00:39:35,580 --> 00:39:36,580
mengi yaliniacha kwa Brad.

576
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,760
Habari, jamani.

577
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,940
Nilimwambia ningempa, kama, 30, 40
pesa.

578
00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:46,080
Nitarudi baada ya muda mfupi, ingawa.

579
00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:47,720
Sijui hata Kihispania.

580
00:39:47,900 --> 00:39:53,980
Nilifanya makosa ya punda bubu, ingawa.

581
00:39:54,330 --> 00:39:56,810
Anza kumtongoza. Lakini nilifanya tu
kwa sababu nilipata simu ya rununu

582
00:39:56,870 --> 00:39:58,150
Alitaka niwe usalama wake.

583
00:39:58,390 --> 00:40:00,650
Na yeye ni kama, ndio, nitakulipa. Na
alinipa pesa kama 10 usiku mmoja.

584
00:40:00,770 --> 00:40:02,490
Yeye ni fucking gutter cunt.

585
00:40:02,770 --> 00:40:06,390
Yeye ni kahaba. Anawachunga wanaume. Tatu
viti kwa gutter. Anawachukia wanaume

586
00:40:06,390 --> 00:40:09,050
pesa jamani. Kama, kiasi nzuri, pia.
Anatoza $200.

587
00:40:13,170 --> 00:40:17,330
Lo, samahani kwa hilo. Niliielezea. Je!
kwamba ulikuwa unanizungumzia mimi?

588
00:40:17,370 --> 00:40:19,250
Ulikuwa unanizungumzia tu. Oh,
ulisema nini?

589
00:40:19,510 --> 00:40:21,110
Umepata tatoo nzuri za-punda. Nionyeshe
tattoos zako.

590
00:40:21,370 --> 00:40:22,370
Fuck yeah, mimi kufanya.

591
00:40:22,450 --> 00:40:23,710
Wewe ni msanii mzuri, mtu.

592
00:40:24,109 --> 00:40:25,610
Oh, unataka kuona mwingine wangu? Ndiyo.

593
00:40:26,030 --> 00:40:27,030
Sawa.

594
00:40:27,530 --> 00:40:28,630
Cheki ujinga huu.

595
00:40:30,510 --> 00:40:31,510
Kufa.

596
00:40:32,090 --> 00:40:33,990
Hiyo ni nini? Hii ni yangu mpya.

597
00:40:35,170 --> 00:40:36,730
Ni ndege wa manjano.

598
00:40:37,150 --> 00:40:42,030
Kama, bendi hii, kama, Brize, anazungumza
kuhusu ndege wa njano, lakini toleo langu ni a

599
00:40:42,030 --> 00:40:44,890
moyo wa mwanadamu. Yote yameandikwa hivyo.
Na fuvu ndani yake.

600
00:40:45,250 --> 00:40:47,570
Na, kama, mbawa za moto na shit. Inasema
taabu.

601
00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:51,290
Anaruka juu ya taabu. Kwa sababu mimi
Siku zote nataka taabu mfukoni mwangu, bitch.

602
00:40:51,820 --> 00:40:52,658
Unajua ninachosema?

603
00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:56,900
Mimi kuwapiga kutomba nje ya watu na kufanya
yao katika punda na, kama, kuwaumiza.

604
00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:58,660
oh, niliwachukia, shit juu yao.

605
00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:02,300
Kitu chochote kibaya au, kama, unajua, yote
mambo uliyotaka kuwafanyia watu.

606
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,340
Ndio, nilikuwa nafanya uchafu. Imegeuka
juu, kama, 500 na kuwapiga hadi kufa.

607
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:06,720
Nijiite asili bubu.

608
00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:09,880
Lakini, unajua, kujitangaza kwa sababu,
I mean, mimi got punda wangu mateke nyuma ya kutosha

609
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:12,200
kwa siku na niliweza kushughulikia maumivu zaidi
kuliko mama mtu yeyote, nadhani.

610
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,440
Nitapata kucheza sana. Nilikutana
Brad na, kama ... Alizungumza nami kila wakati

611
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:20,720
wote wanafurahi, kama, lakini anachukia kila mtu,
hivyo ndio. Nadhani sisi ni marafiki.

612
00:41:20,980 --> 00:41:25,520
Usiku mmoja, alikuja kwenye kitanda changu, na mimi
ilikuwa kama, unajua, nataka kutomba.

613
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,960
alicheza kwenye gari huku akifanya yake
jambo. Tulikuwa tukienda kwenye kituo hiki cha lori

614
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:32,300
papa hapa, jamani jamani mle ndani,
na kutumia pesa alizochuma kwa bidii kwenye ufa

615
00:41:32,300 --> 00:41:33,300
kokeni.

616
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,080
Lo, nilipiga shit nje ya guy katika
lori.

617
00:41:38,770 --> 00:41:41,910
Ndio, ndivyo alivyoniambia. Alikuwa
kama, mijusi mwitu. Nimekuwa kwa kila

618
00:41:41,910 --> 00:41:43,170
Hifadhi ya trela hapa chini, jamani.

619
00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:46,010
Nimefungua Derby Run. Ndiyo, ndivyo
ile crackhead nyeupe.

620
00:41:46,290 --> 00:41:47,149
Koloni kubwa.

621
00:41:47,150 --> 00:41:50,470
Trailer City. Nimekuwa katika hiyo wao
ilivurugwa kwenye Halloween. Tulikuwa tu

622
00:41:50,470 --> 00:41:54,570
kuchomwa moto. Sikuwahi kufanya hivi hadi nilipoendelea
mtandao, mtu. Napata aibu na wenzangu

623
00:41:54,570 --> 00:41:55,269
bunduki za nyufa.

624
00:41:55,270 --> 00:41:59,670
Nitavunja mwangaza wako haraka. mimi ni
kama, sawa, sawa, tufanye hivi. I

625
00:41:59,670 --> 00:42:03,350
juu mitaani na kisha crappy kidogo
kila mahali. Sijawahi kuishi mahali

626
00:42:03,350 --> 00:42:04,350
kwa zaidi ya miezi mitatu.

627
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:06,940
Ndiyo. Alipata zote, yo.

628
00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,980
Unajua Raven ana vimelea ndani yake?

629
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,200
Ndio, nina vimelea.

630
00:42:12,660 --> 00:42:14,800
Sawa, ni nini, ni vimelea.

631
00:42:15,020 --> 00:42:18,260
Wao ni wadogo, kama, unaona hawa
kidogo, yote haya?

632
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,060
Kama, unaona vijana hawa wote hapa?

633
00:42:20,540 --> 00:42:24,480
Na, kama, mimi kimsingi, mimi ni mrembo
nina uhakika kwamba nilizipata kutoka YouTube.

634
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:26,680
jamani nini?

635
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:30,800
Una sindano? Una sindano? Ni
ina vijidudu juu yake. Mimi si daktari.

636
00:42:31,150 --> 00:42:32,950
Je, wanakula ngozi yako au
kitu? Ndiyo.

637
00:42:33,170 --> 00:42:34,990
Wako hivi. Nilikabiliana nayo.

638
00:42:35,750 --> 00:42:36,830
Hebu nikaribie.

639
00:42:42,210 --> 00:42:48,970
Diaper ya fucking. Nilikuwa West Virginia.
Tulikwenda kwa hii

640
00:42:48,970 --> 00:42:52,210
makaburi ya kijinga. Ilikuwa kama familia
-inayomilikiwa katikati ya mahali.

641
00:42:52,510 --> 00:42:56,090
Na tukachimba mwili huu wa kutisha. Sisi
alihitaji mkono wa kushoto. Na alikuwa mwanamke.

642
00:42:56,090 --> 00:42:59,310
tulipoichimba, ilikuwa kama,
ilinikera tu.

643
00:42:59,690 --> 00:43:03,090
Kwa sababu harufu ilikuwa ya kutisha sana, na
ilituchukua milele kuifanya. Naam,

644
00:43:03,090 --> 00:43:05,090
kwa kawaida mtu aliyekufa safi, dude.

645
00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:07,010
Oh, rafiki yangu?

646
00:43:07,190 --> 00:43:14,070
Ndiyo. Mzee huyu, na ana, kama,
unga, na

647
00:43:14,070 --> 00:43:20,130
kuna vifaranga hivi, na anataka
vifaranga, kama, kucheza. Ameingia, nini

648
00:43:20,190 --> 00:43:22,710
unyama na hayo yote, na kinky
mambo.

649
00:43:22,950 --> 00:43:23,950
Yeye polisi.

650
00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:28,380
madawa haya yote, na wasichana hawa wanakuja
juu. Namaanisha, ana bajeti ndogo

651
00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:30,080
vifaranga kwa sasa, unajua, tu
moja kwa moja.

652
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,200
Nitavuta mavi yako yote na kukudhihaki,
unajua? Wana umri gani?

653
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,260
Kila aina ya umri.

654
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:37,480
Wana umri gani?

655
00:43:37,860 --> 00:43:38,860
Kama, angalau.

656
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:41,260
55 -ish, nadhani.

657
00:43:42,420 --> 00:43:44,360
Mimi ni shule yake nzuri sana
mwalimu.

658
00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:47,800
Unajua, ninamfundisha, kama, ikiwa wewe
kuwa na A-mpira mmoja, na una mbili

659
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,580
vifaranga kuja juu, na ni gone, na wewe
hakupata hata sekunde mbili za

660
00:43:51,580 --> 00:43:52,580
urefu, imekamilika.

661
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:55,900
Unajua ninamaanisha nini? Ndio, lakini ona, yeye
haelewi.

662
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,760
Sawa, dude mbaya, sawa? Anajua yeye
mbaya, kwa hivyo atakuwa ...

663
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:03,960
Ongea na mabichi, kama, unaona nilivyo
akisema? Kama, hujui jinsi ya kupata

664
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:08,400
unataka nini na ukoje. Yeye
alinisikiliza sana, na ninafundisha

665
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,960
maneno haya na shit, na yeye, unajua,
anaendelea vizuri sana kwenye lingo

666
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:13,560
na shit. Huyu ni jamaa mkubwa sana.

667
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:18,640
Kwa sababu, ninamaanisha, ananiangalia.
Unajua, nimekuwa na nyakati ngumu

668
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:21,620
Labda ningekufa sasa kama sivyo
kwa ajili yake. Nilimfundisha jambo hili lingine.

669
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,000
Zaidi au chini ya mistari ya jinsi ya
kutawala hali.

670
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,140
Unaangalia, kwa sababu ...

671
00:44:28,380 --> 00:44:34,300
Inaelezea sana ukweli, angalia,
katika ulimwengu huu wa dawa za kulevya, unajua nini

672
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:38,300
jamani mbwembwe wanataka. Njoo kuzimu,
ni majembe ya nyufa. Na tazama, wako

673
00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:41,340
kujaribu kupata chochote wanachoweza
hakuna kitu.

674
00:44:41,820 --> 00:44:46,060
Sawa, na kama huna kuja nje na
unajua hilo, unajua ninachosema,

675
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,620
basi wewe ni kwenda kupata mbio kutomba
juu.

676
00:44:48,980 --> 00:44:52,500
Waambie la kufanya. Kwa hivyo nilikuwa kama,
mtu, angalia, chukua udhibiti. Tumeleta hii

677
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:54,920
kifaranga mmoja juu, na yeye alikuwa wa kwanza wangu
mtihani kwa ajili yake.

678
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,380
I mean, mbali kama mimi kusaidia
hali.

679
00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:03,080
Brandon, ninapokuja, una
kuweka bei. Kama, ninapoenda kupiga simu

680
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,780
biashara, una pesa yako ya ada ya mlango
mbele.

681
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,780
Ninagundua unachotaka, ikiwa niko
kuichaji, nichukue uchafu huo?

682
00:45:11,180 --> 00:45:14,420
Na unajua, kulipwa, basi mimi naenda
kufanya kazi yangu, sawa?

683
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,720
Sawa, ikiwa unalipa kidogo, unajua.

684
00:45:18,439 --> 00:45:22,180
kwa uhuru, hatafanya chochote
Nilikuwa kama, angalia, vizuri, kwa hivyo wewe ni nini

685
00:45:22,180 --> 00:45:26,040
kujaribu kulipa bitch, na nini wewe
unataka, unataka deni, mimi ni kama, wote

686
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:30,980
sawa, wacha nishughulikie hili, kuwa na
Begi 40 tayari, na tayari imefungwa,

687
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:36,740
kuwa na hit moja kwa ajili yake, wakati yeye anapata
hapa, na wacha nishughulikie mengine,

688
00:45:36,740 --> 00:45:41,400
msichana anafika huko, na mimi ni kama,
nini nzuri, unajua, mimi ni mzuri na

689
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:46,840
na kuogopa, napenda, jinsi unavyofanya,
wewe ni moto, Hii na kwamba. mimi ni kama,

690
00:45:46,900 --> 00:45:47,980
hii ni lowdown jamani.

691
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:50,960
Huyu ni rafiki yangu hapa, unajua, kama
familia, angalia.

692
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:55,180
Na najua uko hapa kwa ajili yako na wewe
kama kuvuta sigara, lakini nitakuwa halisi

693
00:45:55,180 --> 00:45:56,180
na wewe, unajua.

694
00:45:56,580 --> 00:46:00,240
Angalia, mabichi hawa wanapita na wao
usifanye uchafu.

695
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,040
Tazama, huyo mwanaume atakulipa vizuri sana.

696
00:46:03,460 --> 00:46:07,460
Lakini ukweli ni kwamba ana mahitaji fulani. Yeye
haifanyi hivi kutazama mabichi

697
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:08,460
moshi ufa.

698
00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:10,580
Namaanisha, unajua, hakuna mtu anayefanya.

699
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:17,450
Na mimi ni kama, angalia, uko chini? I
maana, unaweza kucheza na mimi mbele

700
00:46:17,450 --> 00:46:20,870
yake. Unaweza, unajua mimi ni nini
akisema, fanya haya yote.

701
00:46:21,410 --> 00:46:23,990
Yeye ni kama, mimi si shoga, lakini nadhani mimi
itakuwa kwa ajili yako.

702
00:46:24,190 --> 00:46:26,830
Hiyo ndivyo ilivyokuwa nzuri. Naam, je!
kutoa kichwa?

703
00:46:27,170 --> 00:46:28,470
Yeye ni kama, ndio.

704
00:46:31,050 --> 00:46:32,050
Mimi ni kama, kubwa.

705
00:46:32,230 --> 00:46:34,990
Vuta begi, unajua, onyesha kila wakati
wao wanachotaka.

706
00:46:36,130 --> 00:46:37,950
Mimi ni kama, tazama, hivi ndivyo utakavyokuwa
kulipa.

707
00:46:38,690 --> 00:46:41,990
Bila shaka hilo litafanikiwa
bora, sawa? Kwa sababu anafanya hivyo

708
00:46:42,090 --> 00:46:43,550
unajua, njia questionably.

709
00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:49,060
Sasa, nilikuwa kama, hautafanya
gusa shit hii mpaka umalize. Wewe

710
00:46:49,060 --> 00:46:50,700
usitumie pesa zako kabla ya kutengeneza
ni.

711
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:57,020
Kweli? Na unaweza kuwa na kiboko hiki sawa
hapa. Nikampa nyingine.

712
00:46:58,060 --> 00:47:00,120
Na kisha tutaweza kupata kazi.

713
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,940
Na yeye ni kama, kubwa. Ninapenda jinsi ulivyo
mkweli sana na hivi na vile.

714
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,660
Kweli, kwa hivyo nikasema, mpe hiyo na utume
mbwembwe kufanya kazi.

715
00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:13,000
Amekaa ananyonya mwanaume
dick.

716
00:47:14,060 --> 00:47:15,060
Siku mbili.

717
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,740
Nilikuwa kwenye tundu la mwanamume, kama mtaalamu mdogo
mchumba bingwa.

718
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:20,360
Alikuwa mzuri.

719
00:47:20,580 --> 00:47:21,580
Unajua ninachosema?

720
00:47:21,740 --> 00:47:24,700
Alikuwa amemaliza. Tulimpa shiti na a
dime kidogo ya magugu.

721
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,880
Alitaka pesa za sigara,
naye akaondoka.

722
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:32,600
Sasa, ilichukua kama dakika 45 kwa
hiyo.

723
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:35,320
Hakukaa na kuvuta uchafu huu wote.

724
00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:39,760
Aliniomba niende nayo nyumbani. Kwa
halisi, kama wasichana hawa wote wanajaribu

725
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:41,520
fanya kama wao si makahaba na hivi na
hiyo.

726
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,180
Unajua, kama, angewalipa tu
kaa hapo.

727
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,620
Yeye ni mzee, na ana moyo
matatizo, mtu.

728
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:50,440
Wangekuwa wanagonga kwenye madirisha yake wote
usiku, kama, kufanya shit yake moto.

729
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:55,240
Ana, angalia, yuko juu sana,
mwanadamu, kwa mambo mengi. mimi si

730
00:47:55,240 --> 00:48:00,460
nitazungumza juu yake, unajua, lakini
amefanya mengi katika maisha yake kwa mengi

731
00:48:00,460 --> 00:48:03,120
watu, unajua, na ni fucked up.

732
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:07,480
Kwa sababu, tazama, nao wangekuwa wanamfanya
kujisikia vibaya kwa shit.

733
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,220
Unajua ninachosema? Kama, kujisikia
hatia kwa hilo.

734
00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:13,730
Mimi ni kama, bitch, bora uanze
kuwafokea hawa akina mama. Kick

735
00:48:13,730 --> 00:48:14,930
bitches katika akili, unajua?

736
00:48:15,190 --> 00:48:18,750
Unajua ninachosema? Unasema hivyo
bitch kupata chini juu ya sakafu na

737
00:48:18,750 --> 00:48:24,350
kujitomba mwenyewe, unajua? Na kisha
inuka kwenye mboo yako na uinyonye. Au yeye

738
00:48:24,350 --> 00:48:25,350
si kupata shit.

739
00:48:26,150 --> 00:48:29,030
Unajua ninachosema? Fuck hiyo,
jamani. Unajua ninachosema? Wewe ni

740
00:48:29,030 --> 00:48:30,750
kudhibiti. Una madawa ya kulevya.

741
00:48:31,190 --> 00:48:32,190
Sote tunajua.

742
00:48:32,540 --> 00:48:35,320
Mabibi wananyonya titi yako
kwa sababu moja mbaya. Hawapendi

743
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:38,500
wewe. Wanafanya kama ni rafiki yako.
Hawataki kukupikia chakula na vyote

744
00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,940
hiyo. Ni kwa ajili yao tu sio lazima
fanya kitu.

745
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,880
Ni kama fluff, mtu. Kila mtu kuhusu
fluff.

746
00:48:44,260 --> 00:48:46,700
Dunia inahusu fluff, dude, na ni
ujinga.

747
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:47,920
Ndio maana nachukia kuishi.

748
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:49,520
Uko sahihi.

749
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:54,300
Na ndiyo maana nakuambia, kuna
mambo fulani unayojifunza katika maisha na

750
00:48:54,300 --> 00:48:56,140
utambuzi kwamba huwezi kupiga teke.

751
00:48:57,220 --> 00:49:00,100
Ndio maana mpango wangu pekee maishani ni
kupata utajiri.

752
00:49:00,910 --> 00:49:03,770
Kwa hiyo wanaweza kukaa katika jumba la kifahari kwenye kilima
na mwambie kila mtu acheze.

753
00:49:04,410 --> 00:49:06,830
Na kama ninataka tabia ya madawa ya kulevya, basi mimi nina
kwenda kuikoki.

754
00:49:07,350 --> 00:49:08,350
Kama, kwa umakini.

755
00:49:08,450 --> 00:49:09,450
Kwa sababu sababu moja.

756
00:49:09,810 --> 00:49:11,590
Bitch, ikiwa utafanya kitu,
unafanya sawa.

757
00:49:11,830 --> 00:49:15,190
Mimi si bitch mdogo kama niko
kwenda kukomesha dawa za kulevya. siendi

758
00:49:15,190 --> 00:49:16,670
nikitafuta miaka ya 20, bitch.

759
00:49:17,730 --> 00:49:19,790
Mimi naenda fucking na kutosha kuua
mimi mwenyewe.

760
00:49:20,910 --> 00:49:22,210
Kama mtu kutoka Nirvana.

761
00:49:22,790 --> 00:49:24,050
Alikuwa na fedha.

762
00:49:27,750 --> 00:49:31,380
Ndiyo. Kweli, hivi ndivyo crack hufanya.
Unapopiga teke, huongeza muda

763
00:49:31,380 --> 00:49:33,380
ugonjwa. Ufa, inaharakisha yako
kimetaboliki.

764
00:49:34,020 --> 00:49:37,940
Unapovuta ufa, husukuma nje
ya mfumo wako kwa kasi zaidi. Unajisikia zaidi

765
00:49:37,940 --> 00:49:42,240
mgonjwa, lakini kwa kweli huiondoa
mfumo wako kwa kasi zaidi. Naam, mimi si tu

766
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:44,000
fanya ufa au chochote.

767
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,240
Ninafanya dawa zote.

768
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,280
Ninafanya chochote kile dawa ninayopata,
mbwa mwitu.

769
00:49:48,540 --> 00:49:50,180
Hapana, napenda tu kubezwa, jamani.

770
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,040
Ni chaguo. Asidi ya kutisha, jamani. Mimi ni
kituko cha hallucinogen.

771
00:49:53,380 --> 00:49:54,740
Shule ya zamani ni msingi, bitch.

772
00:49:56,029 --> 00:49:59,210
Asidi itakufanya uwe kichaa sana. Ni
pengine sababu kwa nini mimi kufikiria wote

773
00:49:59,210 --> 00:50:00,630
hizi nadharia mambo na nyani wakati mwingine.

774
00:50:00,910 --> 00:50:02,990
Lakini inafungua akili yako kwa ukweli wa a
mambo mengi.

775
00:50:03,190 --> 00:50:06,390
Mambo tisa kati ya kumi hayajalishi. Wote
sheria wanazoziweka ni kuzishika tu

776
00:50:06,390 --> 00:50:10,350
sisi katika udhibiti. Kama dini, yote hayo
kwenda kufanya kazi shit. Na ni tu

777
00:50:10,350 --> 00:50:14,530
sababu ya machafuko kamili kutokuwa hapa.
Kwa sababu watu ni wafuasi.

778
00:50:15,070 --> 00:50:16,210
Wanahitaji kitu cha kuamini.

779
00:50:16,550 --> 00:50:20,010
Sababu sawa kwa nini walevi huanguka
Mungu, jamani. Kuna watu wengi ambao

780
00:50:20,010 --> 00:50:23,990
kujiua na 90% ya watu hao
kufanya hivyo kwa sababu wao ni dhaifu.

781
00:50:24,210 --> 00:50:24,988
Kama mimi.

782
00:50:24,990 --> 00:50:29,030
Ninajua jinsi nitakavyokufa. naenda
kuchukua maisha yangu mwenyewe. Ila mwenyewe

783
00:50:29,030 --> 00:50:33,590
shida ya kuwa na fucking kuwa
mzee na dhaifu. Sitakuwa na

784
00:50:33,590 --> 00:50:34,630
nguvu ya kujinyonga.

785
00:50:35,130 --> 00:50:40,650
Na kama mimi...namaanisha, niangalieni. Mimi ni
msichana mdogo.

786
00:51:46,460 --> 00:51:49,520
Unajua nini?

787
00:51:50,010 --> 00:51:51,710
Haifanyi mambo kwenda mbali.

788
00:51:53,190 --> 00:51:54,790
Huzihisi tu.

789
00:51:55,110 --> 00:51:57,210
Bado wapo. Hujisikii tu
yao.

790
00:51:57,470 --> 00:51:58,510
Mimi hufanya madawa ya kulevya.

791
00:51:58,730 --> 00:52:01,290
Dawa yangu ya kibinafsi inanifanya nihisi
bora.

792
00:52:01,590 --> 00:52:02,590
Je, inafanya kazi?

793
00:52:03,170 --> 00:52:04,170
Nadhani.

794
00:52:06,670 --> 00:52:10,990
Siku moja nitajifunza jinsi ya kujipiga risasi.

795
00:52:12,370 --> 00:52:16,110
Ninakaribia kupiga Oxycontin. Nimepata
haya kutoka kwa mama yangu.

796
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:21,560
Hapana. Mama yake Brad ndiye mbishi. Tunadhani niko
msichana anayeitwa Bina. Alikuwa mnyoofu

797
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:25,380
- Farasi aliyeruka juu, Dick aliyepigwa kweli,
kila kitu, kwa ufa, kama pesa 10.

798
00:52:25,380 --> 00:52:29,520
G. Rod G. Nilimtongoza. Yeye anayo
pussy ugliest nimekuwa milele fucked. Ndiyo,

799
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:32,800
shit ni mbaya jamani. Inaonekana kama
itakuuma.

800
00:52:33,020 --> 00:52:36,560
Mwanawe, roach, akaingia kwenye sikio lake.
Najua, nilikuwa naye. Na ilimbidi aende

801
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,880
hospitalini kwa sababu ya shida
mende akafa kwenye sikio lake. Sikio lake

802
00:52:40,060 --> 00:52:42,020
Ndio, yeye ni jembe mbaya na mbaya.

803
00:52:42,460 --> 00:52:43,880
Ana mpenzi kichaa.

804
00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:57,190
Unaonekana kama Myahudi aliyetoka kwenye a
kambi ya mateso, sawa?

805
00:53:16,140 --> 00:53:17,140
Chukua hii.

806
00:53:17,380 --> 00:53:18,720
Sawa, utakuwa sawa?

807
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,000
Ndiyo.

808
00:53:21,100 --> 00:53:26,040
Kwa bahati mbaya, Brad ndiye mtu pekee
ambaye anaruhusiwa kufa katika nyumba yangu na

809
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:27,240
usitupwe kwenye jalala.

810
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:31,660
Maabara imeunda heroini.

811
00:53:32,260 --> 00:53:33,440
Je, hiyo ndiyo heroini?

812
00:53:34,300 --> 00:53:35,880
Maumivu hayaondoki.

813
00:53:36,460 --> 00:53:38,400
Ndio, na unachukua yote kwa wakati mmoja.

814
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:39,940
Nakupenda.

815
00:53:40,260 --> 00:53:41,800
Na unaweza...

816
00:53:42,110 --> 00:53:47,250
Neno nje. Unapopata addicted
opiates, ni zaidi ya tu

817
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:48,249
kumpiga nje yake. Niliipiga nje ya
yeye.

818
00:53:48,250 --> 00:53:49,570
Nilikaba siku moja.

819
00:53:53,750 --> 00:53:56,530
Unataka kuniua?

820
00:53:57,770 --> 00:54:02,610
Bitch, hata usinifanye nisimamie hili
shit. Umesahau mimi ni nani,

821
00:54:02,630 --> 00:54:06,810
mama mzazi. Mimi niko nje ya fucking
taabu, mbwembwe. Nitajifunza wewe kama yangu

822
00:54:06,810 --> 00:54:09,130
alinifunza. Nitakufundisha usoni
ya stiletto yangu, mama fucker.

823
00:54:09,430 --> 00:54:10,710
Na ni inchi nane.

824
00:54:11,210 --> 00:54:14,530
Nitakupiga ngumi
tumbo la uzazi

825
00:55:13,370 --> 00:55:15,090
Tuonane siku nzima kuhusu kufa.

826
00:55:15,550 --> 00:55:16,870
Njia bora ya kuvuta ufa.

827
00:55:19,330 --> 00:55:22,510
Nimekunywa sana. Oh yeah, mimi ni
kufanya kazi na kitu kidogo.

828
00:55:22,930 --> 00:55:24,170
Nipe shit basi, fag.

829
00:55:24,650 --> 00:55:27,170
Wanaoacha ni waachaji, bitch. nimeingia
wewe.

830
00:55:28,450 --> 00:55:29,450
Fuck haki.

831
00:55:31,390 --> 00:55:32,610
Piga whisky.

832
00:55:33,970 --> 00:55:35,390
Kama pongezi kwa Angie.

833
00:55:40,190 --> 00:55:41,190
Nipige risasi.

834
00:55:41,630 --> 00:55:44,670
Nitafanya chaguo lako lote la mama,
bitch, kwa hivyo huna haja ya kuwa na wasiwasi kuhusu

835
00:55:44,670 --> 00:55:46,790
kufikiri juu ya kuwa na hisia fucking
kwamba unaweza.

836
00:55:47,370 --> 00:55:48,970
Naipenda hiyo. Huyo ni rafiki, jamani.

837
00:55:49,270 --> 00:55:50,510
Nipe kichwa chako, kijana wangu.

838
00:55:51,170 --> 00:55:52,170
Ndio, unafanya.

839
00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:55,930
Ikiwa unatoboa shingo yangu,
kumbuka,

840
00:55:56,790 --> 00:55:57,790
nani alikuokoa?

841
00:55:58,130 --> 00:56:00,990
Hilo ndilo jambo pekee lililokuokoa. I
alifanya. Na huyo ndiye aliyekuuwa, mbwembwe.

842
00:56:01,430 --> 00:56:02,530
Hilo litakuwa la kuchekesha.

843
00:56:07,150 --> 00:56:09,270
Hii inanifanya nihisi woga. Weka
chini.

844
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:54,200
Wafanyakazi wangu.

845
00:57:29,100 --> 00:57:31,800
Usitudanganye, sisi sio wakorofi
au chochote, unajua.

846
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:42,220
Huko nyuma nilipoanza kutumia dope, I
alikutana na paka huyu mzee. Yeye huenda kwa

847
00:57:42,220 --> 00:57:46,520
jina la Cat Paul, na ana umri wa miaka 60
- Kitu cha miaka, unajua, kweli

848
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:49,300
-punda mweusi jamani. Kweli mweusi pekee
jamani nachepuka naye, unajua.

849
00:57:49,780 --> 00:57:53,520
Ananitia dope, na, ninamaanisha, yeye ni
kujitafuta mwenyewe, unajua, lakini yeye ni kama

850
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:56,680
baba kwangu, unajua. Nimemfahamu
muda mrefu, kwa hivyo tulipitia

851
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:58,040
yeye. Alinifundisha mchezo mzima.

852
00:57:58,430 --> 00:58:01,430
Unajua, namaanisha, nilipouza heroin,
Daima ningempitia, unajua. Yeye

853
00:58:01,430 --> 00:58:04,770
tu, sijui. Namaanisha, kama baba,
kama, unajua, yeye tu, alinileta

854
00:58:04,770 --> 00:58:08,590
juu na tu, unajua, alinilea ndani
mchezo mzima wa dope, unajua. Alinifundisha

855
00:58:08,590 --> 00:58:11,870
kila kitu, unajua, jinsi ya kuipima,
jinsi ya kuweka kata ndani yake. Na zaidi, wakati

856
00:58:11,870 --> 00:58:14,230
Angie alikuwa bado hai, unajua, alikuwa
uhusiano wake.

857
00:58:15,890 --> 00:58:18,150
Amekuwa kwenye Navy karibu miaka 27.

858
00:58:18,670 --> 00:58:24,310
Hapo awali, nilipenda, nilipenda
kusafiri. Ndiyo. Nilipenda kuwa nje ya bahari.

859
00:58:24,650 --> 00:58:27,790
Ninajua ninachofanya baharini. The
sehemu ngumu sasa ni kuwa mbali.

860
00:58:28,589 --> 00:58:31,130
Nimemaliza kusafiri. Nimeona kila kitu
Nataka kuona.

861
00:58:31,690 --> 00:58:33,050
Ninatoka vilima vya West Virginia.

862
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,210
Nilifanya kazi kwenye mgodi wa makaa ya mawe kabla sijafika
Jeshi la Wanamaji.

863
00:58:35,430 --> 00:58:39,190
Na nikafikiria, vema, nitatoka
shimo hilo siku moja. Siendi tu

864
00:58:39,190 --> 00:58:40,370
nyuma. Sitarudi kwenye shimo hili.

865
00:58:40,810 --> 00:58:43,470
Je nyie mlielewana alipokuwa
kukua na mambo?

866
00:58:43,870 --> 00:58:44,970
Sikuwa hapa sana.

867
00:58:46,970 --> 00:58:52,490
Jambo lilikuwa, mke wangu atamlea
mara nyingi. Wakati ningerudi

868
00:58:52,490 --> 00:58:53,490
nyumbani, basi ningejaribu.

869
00:58:54,049 --> 00:58:57,690
nunua tena upendo huo au ununue wakati huo mimi
alikosa kurudi kwa kutoa tu, kutoa,

870
00:58:57,770 --> 00:58:58,770
kutoa.

871
00:58:59,650 --> 00:59:06,410
Hatukuona macho kwa macho mengi
mambo. Kisha alipopata kijana, sisi

872
00:59:06,410 --> 00:59:08,750
kweli walianza kugombana.

873
00:59:10,890 --> 00:59:14,870
Najua Brad ana mambo mengi. I
kujua Brad ni katika madawa ya kulevya na kila kitu

874
00:59:14,870 --> 00:59:19,050
mwingine. Nimefanya kila niwezalo kusaidia
yake ambayo ningeweza.

875
00:59:19,710 --> 00:59:21,730
Kama nilivyosema, nilifanya kila nililoweza
kwa ajili yake.

876
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,820
Haijalishi nini Brad anafanya na jinsi mambo
nenda, yeye bado ni mwanangu.

877
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,900
Namaanisha, bado ni mwanangu.

878
00:59:28,140 --> 00:59:31,200
Na siku zote ninampenda kwa hilo.

879
00:59:31,580 --> 00:59:33,360
Lakini haimaanishi kwamba lazima nimpende.

880
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:37,960
Nilikata nyuzi nyingi sana
pamoja naye. Ninajaribu kumsaidia wakati mimi

881
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,200
naweza, ninapoweza kufanya.

882
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:44,400
Na mara ya mwisho tulianguka
dragout, nilimwambia, nilisema, alipokuwa

883
00:59:44,400 --> 00:59:50,920
safi kwa mwaka mmoja na alikuwa na kazi na kufanya
mambo ambayo ana uwezo wa kufanya,

884
00:59:50,980 --> 00:59:51,980
ambayo ana uwezo wa kufanya.

885
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:56,560
Kisha angerudi na tungeanza wote
tena. Lakini hadi wakati huo, hadi nijue

886
00:59:56,560 --> 00:59:59,120
yeye ni safi, siwezi kukabiliana nayo.

887
01:00:00,460 --> 01:00:07,000
Tulitaka kuolewa,

888
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:11,480
safi, na kulea binti yake na
labda tuwe na watoto wetu.

889
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:15,940
Nilimpenda binti yake. Bado ninafanya kwa hili
siku. Sote tulikuwa tumeenda rehab na

890
01:00:15,940 --> 01:00:19,500
kila kitu, na alipoteza binti yake.

891
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:24,040
Wiki chache kabla ya hapo, tulikuwa
kujaribu kupigana ili kuweka ulinzi wake.

892
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:28,380
Wakati alikuwa katika rehab, yeye pretty much
alimpoteza. Alijua atapoteza

893
01:00:28,380 --> 01:00:32,880
yake. Mwanasheria aliwasiliana naye na kumwambia
kwamba hakuwa na nafasi kuzimu.

894
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:40,140
Nilitoka kwenye rehab na kuweka pesa zangu
hadi kumweka Angie katika hali nzuri sana

895
01:00:40,140 --> 01:00:41,580
nje katika Newport News.

896
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:46,660
Wakati huo, tulikuwa na hofu ya ujauzito,
na nilidhani alikuwa mjamzito.

897
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:50,720
Na kwa hivyo, unajua, nilitaka apate
rehab bora ya kutoka kwayo, kupata

898
01:00:50,720 --> 01:00:53,920
msaada bora angeweza kupata, kwa sababu mimi
ilifanyika nayo, unajua, na nilitaka

899
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:58,020
yake ya kufanywa nayo. Ikiwa tungeenda
ili kuifanya kazi, unajua. Na

900
01:00:58,020 --> 01:01:02,920
usiku alitoka, unajua, nilikuwa nayo
kila kitu kimewekwa kwa ajili yake nyumbani kwangu.

901
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,160
kujua, alikuwa anakuja kurejea ndani,
unajua, na kila kitu.

902
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:09,960
Na mimi nina kukaa pale kusubiri na
kusubiri na kusubiri, unajua, na tu

903
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:10,960
kusubiri.

904
01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:14,760
Saa mbili hivi baadaye, nilipokea simu kutoka
mama yake alisema kwamba walimkuta ndani

905
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:18,800
Portsmouth. nyuma ya safu ya risasi,
unajua, na sindano bado ndani yake

906
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,060
mkono. Na alikuwa na OD'd mbali heroin.

907
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:25,000
Kwa hivyo alitoka tu kwenye rehab usiku huo.

908
01:01:25,700 --> 01:01:31,760
Kwa hiyo jinsi ninavyoiona, alikuwa amejipanga
kufanya hivyo, unajua. Mahusiano yetu makuu

909
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:35,680
walikuwa nje katika Newport News na Portsmouth.
Portsmouth ndipo tulipopata mbichi zetu,

910
01:01:35,940 --> 01:01:41,180
ambayo ni nini yeye OD'd mbali ya, ambayo ni
uchafu ninaofanya sasa hivi, unajua.

911
01:01:44,510 --> 01:01:49,130
unapiga kofia moja mbichi, hata a
kofia nusu, hiyo itakuchosha,

912
01:01:49,150 --> 01:01:53,110
unapiga kofia tatu mbichi,
jamani, wewe, unauliza OD, wewe

913
01:01:53,110 --> 01:01:59,950
kujua, na, uh, hapana, ni dope kati,
ni kutelekezwa, zamani kuwa

914
01:01:59,950 --> 01:02:03,730
pawn shop kufyeka risasi mbalimbali ambapo
watu wangeweza kuingia na kulipa ili kupiga bunduki

915
01:02:03,730 --> 01:02:10,410
huko nyuma, na, uh, alikutana na mvulana anayeitwa
Doc huko nyuma, na,

916
01:02:10,450 --> 01:02:17,340
uh, alifunga, mechi tatu au nne. I
nilizimia nilipogundua

917
01:02:17,340 --> 01:02:22,580
kuhusu hilo, na mama yake alikuja na kunichukua
juu. Tulitoka huko, tukamkuta. Niliona

918
01:02:22,580 --> 01:02:26,200
wake, wakamweka ndani, unajua, walimweka
katika mfuko wa mwili, kila kitu, mtu, wewe

919
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:27,200
kujua?

920
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:31,960
Na tulikuja kutambua mwili wake na
shit na hakikisha ni yeye.

921
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:35,300
Lakini, uh, sijui.

922
01:02:38,540 --> 01:02:42,040
Wahudumu wa afya walinieleza kuwa yeye
ilikuwa, uh,

923
01:02:43,230 --> 01:02:46,650
Mimba ya miezi mitatu hadi minne huko
wakati wa kifo chake.

924
01:02:47,450 --> 01:02:52,290
Na, unajua, mtoto alikufa, unajua.

925
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:57,650
Risasi mbaya kama hiyo, dope, wewe
kujua ninachosema. Na kisha, wewe

926
01:02:57,690 --> 01:03:00,190
ambaye anajua nini kingine alikuwa ndani yake
mfumo, unajua.

927
01:03:00,430 --> 01:03:06,010
Hakuna kusema. Ilikuwa ni mara mbili
mazishi ya mtoto wangu ambaye hajazaliwa na Angie.

928
01:03:14,090 --> 01:03:15,090
Nina mimba.

929
01:03:16,190 --> 01:03:21,370
Huyu jamaa, kumbe, nimekuwa nikizaliwa
kudhibiti kwa, kama, muda mrefu sasa.

930
01:03:21,630 --> 01:03:23,990
Unaona, jambo ni kwamba, nimekuwa mjamzito
mara moja kabla.

931
01:03:24,190 --> 01:03:25,190
mimi nina 17.

932
01:03:25,270 --> 01:03:27,610
Sina chochote. Sina familia. ninayo
hakuna mtu.

933
01:03:28,230 --> 01:03:29,049
Yote ni mimi.

934
01:03:29,050 --> 01:03:34,470
Simwamini mtu yeyote ambaye si kwa sababu yake
yote haya. Mimi ni mtupu sana na niko mbali sana

935
01:03:34,470 --> 01:03:39,030
watu. Kabisa si, kama, wala kutoa
jamani. Kama, na katika hisia hizo, ni

936
01:03:39,030 --> 01:03:41,250
inatisha. Ninajaribu kutoa mimba.

937
01:03:41,670 --> 01:03:42,810
Lazima nitoe pesa.

938
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:48,140
Sijui hata niko umbali gani
kwa sababu, kama, nilipogundua,

939
01:03:48,140 --> 01:03:49,140
akaenda jela.

940
01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:51,680
Ilikuwa ni kama pesa 600 kwa jumla.

941
01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:53,680
Mimi nina aina ya screwed kwa sasa.

942
01:03:53,980 --> 01:03:58,000
I mean, kweli alinivunja moyo wakati mimi
kwanza kupata mimba. Kama, aliniita a

943
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:01,440
mtumizi wa dawa za kulevya hivi na vile. Na nikasema
yeye ningeenda wazimu na kuwa wazimu na

944
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:05,040
Na aliahidi siku moja nitaenda
kumchumbia na atanitunza.

945
01:04:05,260 --> 01:04:06,540
Ni kama miezi miwili, nadhani.

946
01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:10,200
Nakuhitaji ukae kimya kabisa.

947
01:07:49,710 --> 01:07:51,690
Hawa ni watoto wangu wa kiume wazuri.

948
01:07:54,790 --> 01:08:00,850
Na hao ni watoto wangu. Ninawapenda
kifo. Nilikuwa na Patrick nikiwa na miaka 16.

949
01:08:01,250 --> 01:08:05,770
Mama yangu alinisingizia kutoa
ulinzi wake kwake.

950
01:08:06,050 --> 01:08:11,370
Na kisha yeye alifanya vivyo hivyo
jambo na William alipozaliwa.

951
01:08:11,850 --> 01:08:14,510
Na sikuwahi kutumia dawa zote
wakati.

952
01:08:15,070 --> 01:08:18,350
Nilikuwa mhudumu wa wakati wote.

953
01:08:19,020 --> 01:08:20,020
Mama.

954
01:08:20,460 --> 01:08:22,300
Hiyo ndiyo yote niliyofanya.

955
01:08:22,899 --> 01:08:28,040
Mama yangu alifikiri angeweza kufanya vizuri zaidi
kazi ya kulea watoto wangu.

956
01:08:29,819 --> 01:08:36,560
Na mara moja sikuwa nazo, sikuwa ...
Kwa kweli hakukuwa na sababu yoyote

957
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:37,819
sio kudanganya.

958
01:09:23,950 --> 01:09:26,790
Nilifanya tu zaidi ya niliyopaswa kufanya.

959
01:09:27,710 --> 01:09:30,050
Nilifanya kofia tatu.

960
01:09:32,029 --> 01:09:36,090
Je, hiyo ni zaidi ya vile ungefanya kwa kawaida?

961
01:09:36,450 --> 01:09:38,890
Ndiyo. Ninachukia uso wako.

962
01:09:39,810 --> 01:09:44,830
Hilo si neno sahihi jamani. naita
inaruka kwa ateri.

963
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:03,760
Ni wakati wa kuondoka barabarani.

964
01:10:49,010 --> 01:10:50,010
Kuna nini?

965
01:10:50,170 --> 01:10:51,170
Kuna nini?

966
01:10:51,230 --> 01:10:52,550
Ninakutengenezea kijitabu.

967
01:10:53,270 --> 01:10:54,690
Huyo ni Raven. Kijitabu chake.

968
01:10:57,050 --> 01:10:58,130
Yeye hana kijitabu.

969
01:11:26,730 --> 01:11:30,570
Moyo wangu hautakuwa sawa wakati mimi
kufa, lakini hisia nilizokuwa nazo moyoni mwangu,

970
01:11:30,650 --> 01:11:34,890
Siendi, nitaenda
chini, sio juu, unajua nini

971
01:11:34,890 --> 01:11:39,530
akisema? Kwa hivyo sina budi kuifanya hii
sawa, hata kama ni kumwambia tu

972
01:11:39,530 --> 01:11:40,530
mfikirie.

973
01:11:41,470 --> 01:11:42,490
Ungemwambia nini?

974
01:11:45,630 --> 01:11:46,790
Ningemwambia nini?

975
01:11:48,410 --> 01:11:54,990
Pengine ningemuuliza kwa nini aliwafanyia wawili
wasichana wadogo mambo ambayo alifanya.

976
01:11:55,980 --> 01:11:59,020
Watoto wa miaka mitatu na minne
haipaswi kukumbuka vitu kama hivi.

977
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:06,580
Na hii ni mbaya sana kwake kufundisha
binamu yangu

978
01:12:06,580 --> 01:12:09,540
jinsi ya kuninyanyasa kingono mimi na dada yangu.

979
01:12:11,700 --> 01:12:13,280
Baba gani anafanya hivyo?

980
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:18,120
Unajua, unapochukua tatu - au
mtoto wa miaka minne, hawana kweli

981
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:21,320
nini kinawatokea mpaka kifike
karibu kumaliza. Unajua mimi ni nini

982
01:12:22,200 --> 01:12:23,960
Na hivyo ndivyo alivyopata teke lake.

983
01:12:26,030 --> 01:12:30,330
Angeweza kukaa chini na kufanya mimi na yangu
dada aketi mbele yake, naye angeweza

984
01:12:30,330 --> 01:12:36,970
cheza gitaa polepole, tu
kupiga, kupiga, na kupiga,

985
01:12:36,970 --> 01:12:39,810
wimbo huo huo tena na tena.

986
01:12:40,450 --> 01:12:45,250
Na mimi na dada yangu, sote tungefanya
kuapishana, hatuendi

987
01:12:45,310 --> 01:12:47,810
sisi si kwenda kulia, tunakwenda
kuwa na nguvu. Tungeshikana mikono.

988
01:12:48,690 --> 01:12:52,070
Kawaida ilikuwa chini au kitu
kama hiyo, kwenye orofa ama kitu fulani

989
01:12:52,070 --> 01:12:54,270
kama hiyo, hakuna taa na vitu kama hivyo
hiyo, unajua.

990
01:12:55,600 --> 01:12:59,760
Katika kisanduku kidogo ambacho mimi na dada yangu,
kila mara tulikuwa na masanduku haya madogo ndani

991
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,260
wetu kwamba tungeweka mambo hayo mabaya
ndani, unajua.

992
01:13:03,540 --> 01:13:06,780
Wasichana wadogo hufanya mambo ya kijinga kama hayo,
lakini inasaidia.

993
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:12,580
Walitaka kukata mashine.

994
01:13:13,780 --> 01:13:16,460
Mume wangu anasema, utachomoa
yake?

995
01:13:17,800 --> 01:13:20,840
Anasema, nitakuona kuzimu.

996
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:24,320
Hakuna mtu aliyenichomoa. Ni jambo jema
kwa sababu nilikuwa naamka.

997
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:27,840
Wiki chache baadaye, karibu wakati huu nilikuwa
aliyepooza.

998
01:13:28,980 --> 01:13:34,360
Unachoweza kufanya ni kuangalia na kutumaini, kwa sababu
bado unaweza kuhisi, lakini uko

999
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:41,260
aliyepooza. Siwezi kusema, na machozi
angetoka akielea, na kuingia ndani

1000
01:13:41,260 --> 01:13:44,000
weusi. Hakukuwa na mwanga, hapana
hakuna kitu, weusi.

1001
01:13:44,540 --> 01:13:50,500
Kulikuwa na kipepeo wakati mmoja. Wewe
kujua, kuangalia tu gizani.

1002
01:13:58,700 --> 01:14:01,020
Nilikuwa katika utungu wa siku tano na mvulana huyo.

1003
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:04,820
Alikuwa akijaribu kutoka begani mwake
kwanza.

1004
01:14:05,500 --> 01:14:08,160
Nilikaribia kufa na mtoto huyo. Mimi na yeye
wote wawili karibu kufa.

1005
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:11,080
Angeweza kuvunja shingo yake, na hivyo
angeniua mimi pia.

1006
01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:12,620
Kwa hivyo nilikuwa na sehemu chache.

1007
01:14:12,900 --> 01:14:15,120
Nilikuwa na joto, nadhani, la 150.

1008
01:14:16,520 --> 01:14:20,060
Aliniweka kwenye kitanda cha barafu. Alikuwa sana
mtoto mwenye furaha.

1009
01:14:20,620 --> 01:14:21,960
Alijivunia baba yake.

1010
01:14:23,980 --> 01:14:25,680
Baba hakuwapo kila wakati.

1011
01:14:26,110 --> 01:14:32,670
Lakini walikuwa, hawakuanza,

1012
01:14:32,850 --> 01:14:37,550
utupu haukuja mpaka ...

1013
01:14:37,550 --> 01:14:53,890
I

1014
01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:54,950
bado najilaumu.

1015
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:57,040
na nitajilaumu kila wakati.

1016
01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:00,700
Najua alikuwa anafanya majaribio.

1017
01:15:02,320 --> 01:15:04,940
Niliugua, nikaleta dawa
chini.

1018
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:06,800
Ilikuwa yangu.

1019
01:15:07,160 --> 01:15:13,400
Kidonge kilikuja kwa ajili yangu, na alikuwa anakunywa
kutoka kwangu, na haijalishi nilifanya nini, mimi

1020
01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:18,560
haikuweza kumzuia. Tox
kwa kweli ilikuwa, kwangu, nilifikiri ilikuwa yangu

1021
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:22,400
dawa hapo mwanzo kwa sababu ilinipa
hiyo iligonga haraka sana.

1022
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:27,040
Na iliondoa maumivu. Na kutoka
Telox, hatua kwa hatua ilitoka kwa Telox

1023
01:15:27,040 --> 01:15:33,660
DiverSat, kutoka DiverSat hadi Demerol. Na
Demerol inaendelea kupanda hadi utakapokuwa

1024
01:15:33,660 --> 01:15:36,120
juu ya mambo magumu zaidi, na hakuna
tena.

1025
01:15:36,520 --> 01:15:37,520
Unajua ninachosema?

1026
01:15:37,580 --> 01:15:38,580
Ni mambo gani magumu zaidi?

1027
01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:40,560
nta ya sikio ya syntetisk.

1028
01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:45,480
Hakuna kitu kigumu zaidi kuliko hicho, wewe
kujua? Hiyo inaitwaje, ingawa?

1029
01:15:45,580 --> 01:15:46,559
Fentanyl.

1030
01:15:46,560 --> 01:15:48,060
Ndio, hivi ndivyo walivyo.

1031
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:50,139
Iko wapi hiyo?

1032
01:15:50,140 --> 01:15:51,140
Hapo, huko.

1033
01:15:51,740 --> 01:15:57,640
Hivi ni viraka vya miligramu 75. nilikuwa
kuchukua lollipop ya fentanyl, na hiyo

1034
01:15:57,640 --> 01:16:01,620
kwa kweli ndio ilikuwa inaathiri
kusinzia kwangu na kunisababishia usingizi

1035
01:16:01,620 --> 01:16:02,840
kweli kuwa mbaya.

1036
01:16:03,200 --> 01:16:07,020
Nilipokuwa kwenye dawa, nilikuwa nikiumia
mimi mwenyewe. Nilijichoma kisu kichwani

1037
01:16:07,020 --> 01:16:08,020
wakati na mkasi.

1038
01:16:08,320 --> 01:16:09,640
Nilikaribia kutokwa na damu hadi kufa.

1039
01:16:09,860 --> 01:16:15,140
Kulikuwa na jozi ya mkasi juu ya
kuzama, na nadhani nani anajua kwa nini kuna

1040
01:16:15,140 --> 01:16:18,740
majibu. Nakumbuka tu kuamka, na
kichwa changu kilikuwa chini.

1041
01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:23,310
Nami nikalamba, sakafu ilikuwa imefunikwa
damu iliyojaa.

1042
01:16:23,630 --> 01:16:24,870
Nami nimejaa damu.

1043
01:16:25,190 --> 01:16:29,910
Nami ninalamba mikono. sikufikiri,
lakini niliona ninaona ukungu, wewe

1044
01:16:30,210 --> 01:16:33,850
Nami nikapiga, na nikahisi kichwa changu. Na hivyo
ilikuwa crunchy.

1045
01:16:34,650 --> 01:16:36,250
Na nilijichoma kisu mara mbili.

1046
01:16:36,630 --> 01:16:39,710
Unaona, una vijana hawa wote
mishipa katika kichwa chako.

1047
01:16:40,230 --> 01:16:41,610
Wao ni watoa damu.

1048
01:16:45,210 --> 01:16:51,800
Brad. Wakati ningemkamata akiiba yangu
madawa ya kulevya, alikuwa kweli kweli

1049
01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:54,840
samahani. Angejitahidi sana asifanye.

1050
01:16:56,940 --> 01:16:59,360
Na ninajichukia. Hiyo ndiyo ninayochukia.

1051
01:17:00,500 --> 01:17:01,500
Kwa nini?

1052
01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:02,900
sielewi.

1053
01:17:03,800 --> 01:17:05,720
Alijaribu sana.

1054
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:08,820
Hakutaka kuniumiza.

1055
01:17:09,380 --> 01:17:11,200
Hakuwa akijaribu kuniumiza.

1056
01:17:12,440 --> 01:17:14,180
Alikuwa anajaribu kujitengeneza tu.

1057
01:17:14,860 --> 01:17:15,860
Unajua ninachosema?

1058
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:20,500
Achana na maumivu aliyokuwa nayo
kutokana na kutokuwa nayo.

1059
01:17:20,820 --> 01:17:22,480
Unajua, uondoaji.

1060
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:28,660
Na nitakuwa mwaminifu kwako, nilijaribu
kumsaidia mara nyingi kushuka chini

1061
01:17:28,660 --> 01:17:29,660
yake rahisi.

1062
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:31,960
Na wazazi wangu wabaya walikuwa wakifanya hivyo.

1063
01:17:33,020 --> 01:17:34,860
Nilijaribu kumwachisha ziwa.

1064
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:39,200
Baadhi ya watu wangejua kwamba wao
hakuambiwa. Wangeweza kuniweka ndani

1065
01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:40,340
jela kwa hilo, unajua hilo?

1066
01:17:40,980 --> 01:17:42,400
Lakini ninampenda.

1067
01:17:47,560 --> 01:17:49,740
chochote kwa ajili yake. natamani

1068
01:17:49,740 --> 01:17:56,620
Ningeweza kuchukua tabia yake na kuiweka

1069
01:17:56,620 --> 01:17:57,620
katika mwili wangu.

1070
01:17:59,020 --> 01:18:00,920
Kwa njia hiyo asingekuwa nayo tena.

1071
01:18:10,340 --> 01:18:16,400
Alipofikisha miaka 18, alianza kuchumbiana
wanawake wenye madawa ya kulevya.

1072
01:18:16,940 --> 01:18:22,300
na pia alikuwa na magonjwa na alikuwa

1073
01:18:22,300 --> 01:18:26,600
mzee kuliko yeye, mzee zaidi yake.

1074
01:18:26,860 --> 01:18:33,340
Alikuwa anajaribu kupata mama mwingine au
tengeneza tena mama mwingine,

1075
01:18:33,660 --> 01:18:38,240
lakini bado alikuwa na mimi. Hiyo ni nini mimi si
kuelewa ni kwa nini.

1076
01:18:41,160 --> 01:18:44,700
Kwa sababu sitamwacha afe.

1077
01:18:46,410 --> 01:18:47,228
Siwezi kumwacha afe.

1078
01:18:47,230 --> 01:18:48,590
Siwezi kumwacha afe.

1079
01:18:52,970 --> 01:18:54,130
Tutakufa hata hivyo.

1080
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:58,410
Sio kutaka sana kufa. Ni
tu kujua itatokea.

1081
01:18:59,090 --> 01:19:00,350
Tutakufa hata hivyo.

1082
01:19:01,430 --> 01:19:01,910
Ni

1083
01:19:01,910 --> 01:19:11,050
kuhusu

1084
01:19:11,050 --> 01:19:12,950
Chris.

1085
01:19:14,350 --> 01:19:15,350
Akicheka Chris.

1086
01:19:15,850 --> 01:19:16,850
Amekufa.

1087
01:19:17,650 --> 01:19:18,650
Ndiyo.

1088
01:19:19,270 --> 01:19:20,270
Amekufa.

1089
01:19:25,650 --> 01:19:27,690
Vipi kuhusu Raven? Tuambie kuhusu Raven.

1090
01:19:29,090 --> 01:19:30,550
Amekufa pia.

1091
01:19:33,290 --> 01:19:35,090
Alionekana amekufa.

1092
01:19:42,050 --> 01:19:43,610
Sijali tu.

1093
01:19:44,090 --> 01:19:45,090
Wala mimi.

1094
01:19:45,450 --> 01:19:49,210
Ndio, hakuna mtu anayependa kuona watu wao
walio karibu nao waangamize

1095
01:19:49,210 --> 01:19:50,810
wenyewe. Ndiyo.

1096
01:19:51,770 --> 01:19:53,690
Ndio maana sina marafiki tena.

1097
01:19:54,130 --> 01:19:56,890
Hapana, sawa hapa. Naam, niliondoa a
marafiki zangu wengi.

1098
01:19:57,770 --> 01:19:59,610
Baadhi ya marafiki zangu waliniacha.

1099
01:20:01,870 --> 01:20:06,770
Niliwaharibu kwa sababu sikutaka
kupata kuwasumbua kila ninapokaa nje

1100
01:20:06,770 --> 01:20:11,130
pamoja nao. Kwa hivyo niliwaokoa na mimi mwenyewe a
rundo la maigizo ya ujinga.

1101
01:20:11,490 --> 01:20:12,490
Ndiyo.

1102
01:20:13,090 --> 01:20:14,090
Fuck yao.

1103
01:20:14,160 --> 01:20:15,160
Ndiyo, hasa.

1104
01:20:16,980 --> 01:20:20,060
Hawatanisaidia. mimi si
hakika nitawasaidia,

1105
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,860
Sipendi kulazimika... Yeye ni wangu
rafiki.

1106
01:20:23,580 --> 01:20:24,580
Ndiyo.

1107
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:26,500
Huyo ni rafiki yako?

1108
01:20:26,620 --> 01:20:27,620
Ndiyo.

1109
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:29,360
Je, huyo ni rafiki mzuri?

1110
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:31,340
Kweli, hii, ndio.

1111
01:20:33,060 --> 01:20:34,060
Sio mbaya.

1112
01:20:50,380 --> 01:20:51,380
Hapo unataka hii.

1113
01:20:51,660 --> 01:20:52,820
Kiasi gani ndani yake?

1114
01:20:53,020 --> 01:20:54,020
sijui.

1115
01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:55,800
Ngoja nione.

1116
01:20:56,760 --> 01:20:58,540
Ndio, nilikosa sana, ndio.

1117
01:21:33,580 --> 01:21:38,820
Siwezi kumruhusu mwanangu aende kwenye dawa za kulevya na dawa za kulevya
kumeza kosa langu.

1118
01:21:45,880 --> 01:21:47,900
Nataka awe na maisha mazuri.

1119
01:21:48,340 --> 01:21:54,960
Nataka aamke na asiogope, wewe
ujue, Mungu, ni lazima nimfiche nani

1120
01:21:54,960 --> 01:21:59,300
leo? Au kuna mtu ananitafuta? Au
nifanye nini ili nipigwe?

1121
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:00,640
Unajua?

1122
01:22:07,980 --> 01:22:09,000
Aliniambia hivyo wakati mmoja.

1123
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:14,080
Alinisihi sana kwa Oxycontin fulani
mara moja.

1124
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:16,160
Anasema, Mama, tafadhali.

1125
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:21,740
Anasema, haujui ni nini,
nitalazimika kufanya nini ili niichukue, Mama.

1126
01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:25,940
Nami nikampa.

1127
01:22:35,660 --> 01:22:39,020
Sikutaka apige risasi usoni.

1128
01:22:39,820 --> 01:22:43,960
Nikasema, sina budi kufanya kichwa changu. I
nilifikiri, vema, labda ningeweza kumwachisha ziwa

1129
01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:45,960
Je! hiyo ilikuwa mbaya sana?

1130
01:23:56,300 --> 01:23:57,300
Asante.

1131
01:24:28,790 --> 01:24:34,670
mtu mwenye talanta ya kufanya hivi.

1132
01:24:38,810 --> 01:24:40,690
Unaingia chumbani kwangu.

1133
01:25:01,610 --> 01:25:02,610
mama.